Addiction: A Jemi Story

Chapter 34: Pulling

Demi's POV

Joe's hand holds mine as we walk into the crowded pizza parlor, there are families everywhere enjoying their time and food together. Joe said this was the best pizza place in New Jersey, he also said that him and his family used to come here all the time when he was younger. We find a booth in the back near the windows, when we get situated, Joe takes my hand and smiles. I smile back unable to resist, hes just so cute. I'm wearing a long sleeved shirt today so I can hide the fact that I had cut last night. I feel ashamed and just want to die, if Joe finds out, hes for sure going to get mad. I really don't want to see him that way, I look into his eyes and see the peace. I want to keep it that way.

We order our food when the waitress comes, everyone's getting pizza since that's what this place is best for. While we wait, Joe starts to play footsie with me under the table. I try not to laugh so Joe's mother or Grandpa doesn't see what we are doing, but its hard. Eventually a laugh escapes my mouth which makes Joe's mother and grandpa stare, but leaves Joe laughing louder.

" Everything ok? " Joe's mother asks raising an eyebrow staring at the two of us who can't seem to hold our laughter.

" Yeah just perfect. " Joe says chuckling only staring at me, he then throws his arm around me making me scoot closer and resting my head on his shoulder.

" Teenagers. " Joe's Grandpa mumbles shaking his head looking down at the floor, this makes the rest of us chuckle. Joe's Grandpa doesn't talk much, but when he does, its usually funny. Joe looks down at me and smiles, then kisses my cheek making me grin. He then reaches down towards my hands with his free hand and arm making me pull back just the slightest, I don't know really why I did it, but I regret it. He looks at me with a confused and sad expression, my heart drops and I feel horrible. I think I just pulled back since I didn't want any chance of him feeling or seeing my cuts. I reach for his hand that attempted to grab mine, I hold it and squeeze it tightly. He smiles, but I can still see the hurt in his eyes. He then turns his head away looking at the place making me feel horrible inside. I really hope he doesn't think I don't want him to touch me. The waitress then returns with our food, it smells delicious. We start to eat enjoying the food, Joe doesn't really look my way that much any more throughout the meal which breaks my heart. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, I just didn't want him to notice my cuts.

Suddenly Joe's mother's phone starts to ring, we all look up from our food. She stares at it for a second then says " I have to take this, I will be right back. "

She then gets up and leaves from the table, I wonder who called. We see her walk outside and start to talk on the phone. We continue to eat our dinner while shes out still talking, it seems to take her forever before she walks back in. She has a huge grin on her face when she returns, we all looked at her confused.

" You'll never guess what your father just told me Joseph. " She said taking her seat again, I wonder why she could be so happy.

" What is it? Why are you so happy? " Joe asks looking up at her with a curious expression.

" The police have caught the two men who are looking for the two of you! " She says with joy, Joe's face becomes really happy as she talks.

" Really? That's amazing! " Joe says happily, he then looks over at me and grins. I lean in and hug him making him keep the smile on his face.

" I can't believe this, we're going to be safe now. " I say squeezing him tighter to me never wanting to let go, I'm so relieved.

" Wait, whats going on? " Joe's grandpa asks looking confused, I forgot that we hadn't told him yet about why we are really here. We then explain to him what had happened, hes seems a little upset when he finds out. He becomes happy too though that the two men are locked away. We celebrate with ice cream sundaes after we are finished eating our pizza, I'm so happy that we are going to be safe now. When we finish, we start to drive home since its late. Joe still seems a little distant from me because of how I pulled back from him. I wish he could forget about it, I really didn't mean to. When we get back to the house, we all decide to go to bed. When Joe and I are in our bed room he immediately starts to change into his pajamas completely ignoring me. He stills seems down and doesn't look at me, it hurts and I can't take it. When he only has his pajama bottoms on and is shirtless, I push him on the bed surprising him. I get over and straddle him, this leaves a confused expression on his face, he doesn't object though, he places his hands on my waist pulling me close to him.

" Stop ignoring me. " I whisper into his ear seriously, he looks back at me with the same seriousness in his eyes. I crash my lips against his wanting him, our lips move in sync making us both breathless. He sits up pulling me by the waist closer to him, with me still straddling him, we get into an intense make out. His hands run up and down my back sending electricity throughout the rest of my body, I can't help but run my fingers along his beautiful chest and abs. He soon pulls my shirt over my head and throws it on the floor, I tremble from the cold now that I'm showing bare skin. He stops kissing me and looks at my torso, I blush unsure of what to do. He's never really stared at me like this before, I wonder how he would stare if my bra still wasn't on. He leans in and kisses softly and slowly on my neck making me lean my head back and softly moan. When he reaches my lips again, I push him back against the bed. He grins and rolls over so he can be on top, I blush once he is. He smiles and we just stare into each others eyes for a few moments trying to catch our breaths again. His eyes start to travel my body making me feel weird, did he want to go further? I close my eyes when he's observing, even with them closed, I can still feel his on me.  

" Demi..." he says making me reopen my eyes, I see him staring at the side of my body with a serious expression. What was wrong?  

" I thought you were happy now. " he says moving his eyes to me, I didn't understand what he's talking about. His eyes are hurt again, I sit up again taking his hand trying to understand. Was he talking about how I pulled back from him at the restaurant? That's when I realize what he's actually talking about, how could I have been so stupid?  

" Joe I am. " I say trying to cover up, I don't know what to say. How could I have been so careless, my cuts are very visible right now.  

" Demi, I don't understand why you need to do this. " he says picking up my hand and bringing it to his face, he stares at the cuts on my wrist making me uncomfortable. He then leans a little and kisses them very softly, my hand becomes wet from a tear he sheds. I feel like I won't be able to control it either, my eyes are becoming wet as well.  

" I'm sorry Joe...please don't be angry with me. " I say wishing I could take back the cuts, I pull away from him getting off the bed and grabbing my shirt off the floor. I didn't want to see his expression, I'm such a freak.  

" Demi, I'm not angry...I'm...really hurt that you still feel the need to do this. " he says behind me, I turn around to find him with his head in his hands not making eye contact. I drop the shirt back on the ground and walk back to the bed and sit next to him.  

" I can't help it...I'm sorry. " I say trembling, more tears come and I start to cry wishing I wasn't so sick.

Joe's POV

I pull her in my arms as her tears fall making the knife in my heart stab harder. I hold her and stroke her hair wanting her to be ok again, I don't understand why she did it. I thought she was happy, not depressed any more. I kiss the top of her head wanting her to calm down, she still continues to sob into my chest though. I hate seeing her like this, it hurts so much to see her in pain. She deserves so much more than this, I just want her to be happy. When she starts to calm down, I release her and hurry and run to the bathroom grabbing a towel out of the drawer and wetting it with warm water. I then run back to the room and find her sitting on the ground with the reddest eyes, I go and sit by her and start to wash her face off slowly and gently. She seems to like it and I'm glad I can be of some use, when I finish she crawls into my lap wrapping her arms around my neck. I embrace her back and wrap my arms around her keeping her close, I run my hands along her back hoping that its comforting. I just wish she would see how perfect she is to me, no one could replace her in my world. After minutes of holding each other, I pick her up and lay her back onto the bed. Then crawl in with her wrapping my arms and blankets around her, I'm never ever going to let her do something like that again. Even if it kills me.