Addiction: A Jemi Story

Chapter 17: Addicting

Demi's POV

Joe has been acting weird all period, he won't even glance towards me. Did I do something wrong or something? Or was he still just exhausted from being sick all day yesterday? I hope I didn't do something wrong, I don't want him to be angry with me. When the bell rings, everyone starts to pack up. When I'm done putting all my stuff in my bag, I look over at Joe who is staring at me with pain in his eyes.

" Whats wrong? " I ask hoping hes ok, I don't like seeing him in pain. He doesn't deserve that kind of thing.

" Can we go talk somewhere? " He asks letting his eyes move from me and to the ground. What did he want to talk about? He didn't want to...you know...break up with me did he? If that happened, well I think I would hit my deepest depression. I wouldn't want him to leave me, I love him. He's everything to me now. I just nod scared, we then start to walk silently out in the crowded halls. Then we go outside and to his car. When we were there, he just stops at his door with his back to me scaring me even more. 

" Demi..." He says turning around showing me a tear slipping, he looked as if her was in great anguish. I didn't like  it at all.

" What? " I ask gulping trying to hold back tears, he was going to break up with me. I just know it, why though? I thought he liked me. He then takes a step forward and puts his hands on my waist pulling me close surprising me. What was he doing?

" Demi...why? " He says taking one of his hands off my waist and grabbing my arm very gently pulling it close to our faces. He then pulled down my sleeve revealing my cuts. How did he know? I look up at him in horror wishing I had applied the makeup a lot better, I didn't think anyone would see with my long sleeve shirt. I guess I screwed up, I screwed up real bad. I take my eyes away from him not being able to come up with an excuse or lie to tell him. He was for sure to break up with me now, he probably thought I was some sort of freak.

" Demi answer me please. " He says letting go of my arm and wiping away a tear that is sliding from my cheek. I still can't look up into his eyes or he'll see the shame in mine. His thumb feels amazing as it rubs against my cheek, I don't want him to leave. I open my mouth to say something, but I can't find anything to say that would make things better.

" Is it because of the two men or something else?...Is it something I did? " He asks making me look back up quickly, how could he say that? His eyes were now even more full of anguish. How could he think it was something he did, he has never hurt me.

" No Joe, it was defiantly not because of you. Don't ever think that. " I say turning his head back towards me so I can look him in the eyes better. 

" Then what? " He asks pulling me closer, I'm guessing he wants me to be more comfortable with him.

" Joe...that's not something that I can tell you in a matter of seconds or minutes. " I say looking down at the ground, if he wanted to know why, well then I'd probably tell him most of my life story.

" Is this...your first time? " He asks slowly scared of my answer. I simply just shake my head no making him pull me closer. He still had wet eyes like me, I didn't think he cared about me that much.

" Demi, can you tell me if we go somewhere to sit. " He asks looking back at me. I nod my head yes. I really didn't want to tell him, but I guess he needs to know now. We then get in his car and start driving to my house since its cold outside and his family might be at his house. The drive is silent and for the first time, awkward. When we get to my house, we go upstairs to my room. I sit down on my bed not ready for me to explain this to him. He then sits down next to me close like usual, im glad he didn't change his mind on that. I then start to confess my deepest secrets to the man I love.

Joe's POV

I held Demi close to me as she sobbed in my chest, I couldn't help but silently cry with her. She had told me everything, I could see how hard it was for her. She had told me how her mother had left her here with her abusive father, even though I already knew a little about that. She then told me about how she's been bullied since she can remember, specially by Ashley who has been bullying her since the third grade when they had met. Then she told me about how she got addicted to self harming and eating disorders, she say she still can't stop. She then told me how she thinks shes not beautiful or even worthy of life, which made me think of how stupid she is for thinking that. Then she told me about the warning her dad had given her about me, that was when she cried the hardest. I told her everything will be okay, that nothing bad was going to happen to me. She didn't seem to believe me, I couldn't blame her though since I'm a little scared myself. I can't stop thinking about the wounds on her wrists, they make my soul hurt. Seeing her cry like this devastates me, she never deserved this kind of pain. After a while of this, she starts to finally calm down. 

" I'm sorry. " She says looking back up at me with red eyes, I start to wipe away tears hoping it will help. 

" Demi, there's no reason to be sorry about this. " I say pulling her close again, my tee is soaking from her tears. 

" You probably think I'm some kind of freak. " She says looking down trying to keep her breathing calm, I just looked at her in confusion wondering why she would think that.

" Demi, I don't think your a freak. " I say tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear so it wasn't in her eyes. She just stays silent either not knowing what to say or not believing me. When she still doesn't talk, I take my chance. " Demi, can you promise me something? "

She looks up at me with curious eyes, I pause before I can say anything. Seeing her like this really did hurt me.

" Can you promise me that...that you will try your hardest to not...cut or throw up after your meals. And actually eat something. " I say hoping she will at least try, I just want her to be happy. 

"...I can try, but Joe I can't promise that my hardest might be giving up sometimes. It's an addiction, it will be really hard to stop. " She says looking like she means it, well i'm glad she's going to try at least. Hopefully I can help her along the way. 

" Thank you. " I say pulling her into a hug wishing she would just see that shes beautiful and perfect to me.

" Joe. " She says in my chest, holding onto my waist.

" Yeah? " I ask leaning back to look her in the eyes, she looks so pretty even when her eyes are red from crying. 

"...I love you. " She says obviously nervous and scarred of my reaction. I just smile since i've been hoping she would say that for a while now. 

" I love you too. " I say smiling, her words couldn't have made me happier even though the situation. I then kiss her knowing that I couldn't love another girl as much as I love her.