ashes ➝ Doctor Who²

XXX

Penelope, despite having on a thick coat, was still being thrashed about by the harsh sea air. It wasn't a nice day in the slightest, thin rain was hitting them, not enough to soak them, but enough to creep the cold into their bones. The waves sent over biting cold water to eat away at her skin and the salt was already drying out her hands and face.

She doesn't like the ocean.

But she forced herself to endure it as the boat docked, the gangplank was lowered and there was a gesture for them to come aboard. Jasper took her hand without thinking, leading them both towards the boat, uneasily walking up. Trying hard not to look down.

He doesn't like boats.

Ignoring the bile sitting at the base of his throat, he spoke with the man that let them on, still holding onto Penelope's hand as she looked around.

She had always wondered what an official naval ship looked like, and honestly it was worse for ware. Paint peeled almost everywhere you looked, frayed rope held everything together and even through the wind that whipped her hair around she could see the wooden boards that had been pried up over time.

The man led them inside and Penelope shuddered in advance, how bad could it be inside?

Although she was pleasantly surprised to see that everything was intact and there weren't any holes. Tightening her grip on Jasper's hand she quickened her walk so that she was by his side. It wasn't any less cold, but it was dryer and that's all she cared about.

Their guide opened a door but didn't go in himself, gesturing for them to go in alone, which doesn't usually bode well for them. But this time they had to trust it.

Sitting at a desk in the far corner of the cramped room was someone she recognised almost instantly. Although it didn't hurt nearly as much as she thought it would. If anything it was like meeting a stranger. She hoped that seeing him in person would bring out some familial emotions that would confirm that he was her father. But there was nothing, this man was nothing.

He looked up and smiled, it pulled at his eyes and she felt bad that she had ever accused this clearly innocent man of ruining her life. He doesn't even know who she is. He is nothing, but kind to her anyway.

"You're Penelope right, I've been looking forward to meeting you. Please, take a seat." She did, still unable to say anything, Jasper standing just behind her, holding the back of the chair.

"I.. I am. And you're Garrick Adaams?"

"Yes. On the phone I was told I had a daughter with Jena, I sent over my files and you can clearly see that you're mistaken about that. But I'm assuming you have a reason as to why you still want to see me."

"Mum never forgot about you. Even in the end she would still curse me to hell saying I'm the reason you left. But you're not my dad, and there's no record that she ever gave birth to me. Whatever happened, she raised me like her own, and she never forgave me for you leaving." He looked at her sadness hitting the backs of his eyes, before taking a picture out of his coat.

"I never forgot her either. Jena will always be the love of my life." He gazed down lovingly at a worn out picture of himself and his wife on their wedding day. "She was my whole world, and I never understood why she suddenly didn't want me anymore but I had sworn to always respect what she wanted. So I devoted myself to the country, trying to forget the years we spent together."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I now know she didn't really have much of a choice." He leant over and took Penelope's hands, the picture left on the table. He wished that none of this had happened, or at the very least he was able to be around for whatever gave them Penelope, but now that he can't he has to live with what he has now. "Listen to me closely Adaams, whatever brought you to my wife and did all this, it isn't your fault. You can't control what you don't know."

"She was your wife and I.. I really am the reason you left and she died."

"No, for whatever reason the Universe gave you to her and did what it did, I'm sure there's a reason, you can't blame yourself for this. Understand." She nods absentmindedly, delving into a world where this man would have raised her alongside her mum. Longing for something other than the world she finds herself living in.

"I'll try not to. Please keep yourself safe out here." She stands, retracting her hands but smiling politely. She takes deep strides out of the room, followed by Jasper after he says something indistinguishable to the man at the desk.

Tears streamed down her face, mixing with the rain and wind as she raced outside and back down the gangplank. Jasper raced after her, feeling guilty for bringing her here, even if she did ask him, he should've just lied.

He slipped at the end, falling to his knees on the dock, Penelope racing to open the car before he got there. Yanking the door open, she reached into her bag, pulling out the Vortex Manipulator.

As Jasper reached her he reached out to her shoulders but she stepped back, hitting the car to get out of his grip.

"Pen.. I'm sorry."

"I can't do this Jasper. Not right now." She was punching something into the device, something he couldn't see, but it looked random.

"You can't just-"

"I'll be back, please give me some time." There was a flash and she was gone. Jasper left alone with his guilt in the pouring rain.

Now all he could do was wait for her to come back, if she ever did.