Cardinal sin (2) : A laugh in Vain

19 - We are familly

Ed and Al sat across from each other in silence while Mei glanced from one to the other, trapped in between exasperation and concern.

When Al heard that his brother was the caller at the door, he came out of his self-inflicted isolation in the hotel room. They had hugged it out, and Fullmetal explained his actions back at the morgue.

"You were too emotionally shaken," was Ed's excuse. "And I didn't want to distract you from your research on Xingese Alchemy."

"Bullshit!" Al refrained from saying.

Accusing his brother of lying would only make it worse. Their situation was already bad; they did not need to worsen it. Both knew this tension would not be mended instantly. There were too many lies and hidden truths in their words, sometimes detectable, other times believable. It was hard for the Elrics to trust each other at the present moment.

Yet, mingled with all the other emotions, Ed and Al were both concerned for each other.

Alphonse was afraid he would lose his elder brother again—that he would see a knife and decide to drive it through his chest. When they had spoken in the morgue, Ed had said that his dearest wish was that he were dead. The thought of losing one's loved one was unbearable. Seeing it actually happen, and then when fate had decided upon a miracle, to risk the past repeating itself.

Edward, on the other hand, was worried about his little brother's mental health. To be locked up in a hotel room for over a week was not the best thing for Al's morale or well-being. He was frightened that his revival would cause some long-term effects on Al's mental health, and his brother would never be the same again. It would all be his fault that his little brother suffered. Why did he seem to always pile more shit onto Al's head, even when he did not mean it?

"Mei," Ed said at last. He didn't take his eyes of the window, but spoke anyways, and held the Xingese Princess's attention. "Whould you mind giving Al and I a moment alone?"

Standing up as was requested of her, Mei said, "Take all the time you need. And do make-up. The silence is killing me."

Al waited until Mei was out of earshot before saying, "You and Winry are going to get married?"

"We are."

"Congratulations. It looks like you're the one who won that fight in the end."

Ed nodded slowly until silence took over again. Every once in a while, they would glance briefly at each other, trying to find the words. This lasted until they made eye contact and realized that they were being silly.

"Look, Al—"

"You don't need to say anything, brother," interrupted Alphonse, glaring down at his hands. "I understand. This isn't going to go away. Apologies and lies aren't going to mend this tension, so just drop it. I get it; I'm not enough for you. But that's all right."

To this, Fullmetal could find no answer. He stared at his brother hopelessly for a full minute before dropping his gaze and cursing himself.

'We are family,' he thought, 'but we have never been so divided.'