trillie oneshots

kiss me?

billie be confused whether he likes guys or not, wacky hijinks happen lol
requested by murd3rcity hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 4176
Fluff, but there's some darker themes towards the end but it gets really fluffy after that so yeah

Billies POV

"You. Like. Girls. Okay? Just girls." I had repeated these words in front of a mirror for the past hour, trying to convince myself of that statement. Keyword, try.

All my life I've been told that girls liked guys and guys liked girls. Nothing else. If you liked guys and you were a guy, it had to be a friendship. But, fuck, sometimes men look really hot. I heard of people who liked someone of the same gender, but I wasn't gay. I still liked girls, and my friends have heard me talk about this girl, Adrienne's her name, countless of times. So why did I look at pictures of shirtless men in magazines at night, under the safety of a blanket?

I had to figure this out somehow, and since I was 100% sure I liked girls and only, like, 80% sure I liked guys, I taped pictures of people on the sides of the mirror, one half women and the other half men, and tried to keep my eyes on the women. But, occasionally, my gaze would flicker over to the side with men, and I would keep staring until I realized that I was staring.

This process was not helping at all. I groaned, ripping the pictures off the wall. I threw them away, then noticed that the top picture was a man in only underwear. My face was blushing a really dark red, and I quickly threw toilet paper to cover it up. I stormed out of the bathroom, thankful that I was home alone. I needed to be alone right now.

I went to my bedroom, opening my door roughly, then slammed it shut. I fell on top of my bed, wanting to scream. I just wanted to figure this shit out. Maybe I could like both, but I never met anyone who did, or was at least open about it. Mike's only ever dated girls, and Tré hasn't dated anyone in the time I've known him. If one of them liked both, I wouldn't know. Could I even like both genders?

I laid on my bed for about half an hour, trying to shape my thoughts. Eventually, I thought up of a plan. I would drive to a different city, go to their library, ask if they had computers, go to a different library if they don't, if they do look up 'is it normal to like multiple genders??????', then find out.

Why I would do this? Well, I don't own a computer, so I can't look it up now, Mike's the only person I know who does and I'm not about to ask him if I can use it because he'll ask me what for. The library where I live doesn't have nearly enough money to afford multiple computers. But I can't do this today, since I'm too fucking lazy to drive and I'm exhausted about thinking about who I like.

I close my eyes, and, surprise surprise, I dreamt about hot guys and girls. I'll never escape this hell of not knowing unless I follow through with my plan. Ugh. Guess I gotta actually do stuff tomorrow.

When I hear my alarm go off, I sleep through it. It's hard, but I managed to do it. I really didn't want to do anything. Even though I wanted to figure myself out, I was scared. What if I wasn't normal? What if I had to pick? And if I did, would I go with what I know I like (girls) or mix it up a little (guys)? What if I regretted my decision?

I had to get up at some point though, and at 11 am, I finally got up. I was breathing hard, God I did not want to do this but I did. I did my normal morning routine, which included ignoring the voice-mails I had from my band members. Especially Tré's. I didn't want hear his voice. It made me feel weird. He has a nice voice, but the way he says certain words makes my heart beat faster.