Fight for Him | SWADMARE |

Im sorry, Darling.

I have to improvise cause they're Skeltons 😒 mf 'biting the tips of my fingers' sounds weird. They're skeletons so I can't say nails 💀

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•Nightmare POV•

I woke to the next morning. I forgot other Goddess's can enter an AU that's locked. I hate this, SD said that if I needed a break I could have just told my gang, but the thing is is that I don't think a break from them, I don't like admitting to it, but I love my gang. At this point it's more of a family than a gang. I was sad that I had to lock them out of the AU, I truly am. I just have to tell that to SD..

SD was probably downstairs, making breakfast.. I was gonna have to eat. I don't like eating, I feel guilty. It gets too hard to deal with.. But I know if I don't eat soon, I'm gonna pass out.. I haven't ate in a week. A week usually isn't that much, but for some reason I feel hunger than usual, and I'm light headed and instead of just when getting up and blacking out, I do random things and just start blacking out, and sometimes it lasts more than a few seconds.. I sigh, and slowly walk down stairs.

And of course. SD is there. Sitting down waiting for me. Waiting for me. He is waiting for me.  I can't believe someone would actually wait on me, let alone even talk to me. I stand at the door way, and mumble so something so he knows I'm there. He quickly turns around, and loudly speaks, "Good morning, Darling! Did you sleep well? You moved a lot last night, I hope you're okay. Do you feel sick?" SD got up from his seat quickly walking over towards me. He's overwhelming me.. Why is he asking so much questions? I start biting the tips of my fingers because I'm anxious.. Once he makes his way over to me he puts his hand up to my forehead, "No fever," Swad put his hand down and picked me up bridal style while speaking, "Maybe you just slept in an uncomfortable position?" I wasnt answering because he was overwhelming me with so much questions.

~warning: cuts~

I notice SD looks at me, and then grabs my rist, "Darling, don't bite the tips of your fingers!" I wince as he grabs my rist.. He looks down at me. He knows. He slowly walked over to the dining room table, and he sets me down in one of the chairs with a plate Infront of me. It has a bunch of food. SD sits down right next to me, and puts his hands around mine. He closes his eyes. He looks like he's about to cry, and I know why. "Darling.." My body fills with more anxiety than it already had. I feel like I'm gonna cry. "Why did you do it?" I break down and start crying, "I-I don't k-know! I-I just g-got so u-upset with m-myself..!" I shout out.. SD sighs. He then speaks again, wiping his eyes and then wiping mine. "It's okay, Darling. We can talk about it later, for now we need to eat. I know you haven't eaten anything in almost an entire week."  I shake my head, I don't want to eat. He looks at me. "Darling, you have to." But I don't want to. He begins to speak again, "Darling.. I don't want to, but if you don't eat, I'm gonna have to force you to.."

~A few minutes later~

I'm sobbing, I don't want to eat! SD has me pinned against the wall. He is pinning me with one of his hands against my wrists above my head. He has a fork Infront of my mouth, but I don't open my mouth. Me and SD are crying. Both of us. Me more than SD. I can tell he is trying to be patient with me, but I'm making it difficult. Really difficult.. I start letting out choked sobs. I can't. I can't. I cant! Why does this have to be difficult? Why can I just eat? I'm such a freak.

Swad finally got angry, but he tried to hide it with sweet words. His hands weren't pressing that hard against my wrists, but suddenly Swad squeezed, make me scream in pain. He took the chance to put the food in my mouth, then he stopped squeezing and he instantly pulled me into a hug, continuously apologizing.. "I'm sorry Darling, I really am. Please believe me, im sorry. It was the only way you would eat. I'm truly sorry, my bueatiful.. I really am sorry.." I didn't know what to do.. the first thing he did after apologizing is picking my up bridal style, and carrying me to the medic room.. I have a room for almost anything, so it's not surprising we have a room full of stuff to take care of monsters. Swad put me down, and took my jacket off. Revealing the cuts on my arms. All over them, even on my shoulder. I started crying more. I lifted my shirt up a little to show cuts on my hips. There wasn't a lot of cuts there. Only 1 or  2.. Swad got in his knees. I'm was 4'0, and Swad is very tall. (I think that's his canon height, not sure. It's just what I was told.) 
Swad was still taller than me when on his knees, and when someone leaned down to speak to me it angered me, so this kind of annoyed me. Swad began whispering, "Are there anymore, Dear..?" I showed my thighs to him. There seem to be more on one of my thighs than there was on both my arms... I felt ashamed. Swad gently hugged me, he put one arm around me and one of his wings around me. He began to reach for the medcit and began to heal my wounds. The wounds I caused. None of this would have happened if it weren't for me locking the AU, not eating and then cutting mtself!? What's wrong with me?

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Ill post more on weekends than I do on weekdays, but I'll still try to update daily. Most in the mornings, I have around 20 minutes to write, though I usually listen to music when I write, but the only thing I have is big headphones, I lost my earbuds and I can't use someone elses. I have an android and my phone won't takes wireless 😒

Also sorry If this chapter is shorter than others. I didn't want to keep you guys waiting for some time. Also I might just randomly stop updating for like a week, If I do it's because school work.