living with My childhood crush

chapter 9: drew made me have a flashback about my life

-hi( drew)

-it's been a long time( me)

-yeahh, indeed , how are you doing?(Drew)

-good and you?( me)

-not really , there is a bitch here that i can't stand anymore, i guess i am going to kill her !( Drew)

- gosh , since when have you become that harsh, by the way what did push you to text me , is it because of her( me)😂

-well,what do you think ?😕

- I don't know to be honest, do you like her ?

-wait do you know her or something? and what do you mean by the question if i like her .I literally just told you that i can't stand her anymore.Is there anyone else chatting with me here or something!! 🤔

I swear on my life , on that point i thought that i was going to be dead. Literally that scared me to death of the idea that Drew has found that i created a fake account for him.I'm sure he is going to kill me ,especially for the amount of hatred i successfully and foolishly helped him develop for me , he won't have any pity for me. I know that i like this guy ,wait i love this guy but that does not mean that i was not scared of him .I still remembered the day that he kicked my friend which was a girl three times and that also very hard just for the fact that she was annoying him.By annoying i simply meant that he was wearing a watch hat , only because he cut his hair very tiny .Being the playboy he was at that time he did not want to show his girls that he may have something which is imperfect. So he was hiding his hair with that 'watch hat' which was a dark blue.Yes , i do remember the color, fun fact i also remember the design but i'm sure that those details are not necessary here. So, yeah he won't hesitate to slap me or even humiliate me , he is very hot tempered.You might be thinking that even knowing these traits about him why do i still like him; trust me i have been asking myself this question every time . However, the response is simple, it's love whether I will assume it or not.And here i am , being readily available to be hit by this boy .I am literally offering myself to death .

- you know what i think that this girl is making you lose your mind.You are not able to cope with our usual conversation's flow nowadays.So, bye ! when you feel better then we will chat. Or if you want tell the girl herself to chat with me lol😂.

You will probably notice here that I am being arrogant but it is required . I definitely cannot show him that i am weak at least not on my fake profile when i can be the person that i sincerely wished to be .Taking photos the way i want and able to talk to whoever i want without being scared but really confident.He can hate me all he wants to in real life because that 's how my life is ! I have never been loved for who i really am .Even if i thought that i actually had one ,who i proudly used to say when i was sad: my happy and safe place(my ex best friend) .Well , life showed me that he wanted to cover up for his mistake. That is letting me having someone like this in my life is impossible, it was a mistake .That's why i got to know about her being fake.For everything , i have always got a feeling when it was going to turn bad but for her , it was a real surprise. Not only this but even my parents hate me.May be they dropped me here and gifted me condoms.But it is only because they thought that i was a lesbian.So, by doing these actions they thought even if i am not a lesbian that i would change.I don't know what would have happened if i was gay for real.They literally told me if i was lesbian that i was already dead to them and they would have felt that I was a waste of energy and money.They only cared about themselves, they never cared how i truly cared , they are not really emotionally connected with me .Actually , if you have been on instagram or tik tok there is a psychology truth that was exposed and that is , if you talk everything to anyone ,if you are that open then the only reason behind it is , you were never listened as a child.It's true , i did not have any real friends , i did not really have the support of my parents.It's kind of complicated because my parents are not that bad but they hurt me a lot.

whenever i needed someone to help me with art homework , i know we need to be dependent but come on i was six or ten years old.And fun fact when i had to bring materials at school , they always never have.Same for my career, it is not really what i like. I have always dreamed of being a doctor but they did not have money enough.Okay that's fine but ,one day in front of me they asked my brother that whether he would want to become a doctor.when i told him that he refused when i asked him once. He said he don't even remember , because i never really complained about it as such.I am someone that do not fight for what i really liked always accepting what others have to say.Or even how to pleased others.It was never me , i was actually that betrayed with my ownself because i was never enough.I meant that i was never best at anything.So, i consistently hate myself for being abnormal.Not knowing that it was the responsibility of parents and not mine.

So, he was the only one that i remained like this for , i am no longer like this anymore .After that incident ,everything changed. I will never showed my weak side, that's why i react like this in front of my ex bestfriend when in reality i am deeply hurt.

- you know what you really know how to boost someone's mood , and i literally forgot to tell you that i sincerely want to meet you one day. We can spend a day at the seaside you decide because I am always free .But really tell me when !

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well i know it's been a long time that i have not been updating chapters but now i am back for sure .Well, what do you think about their relationship on her fake account.Do you think they will meet up one day.Will he changed when he will actually know who was his mood booster.Will his perpective about her changed in reality.And most importantly how did you find the sad part of how her life looks like, can you relate to her? and yeahhh sorry for grammar mistakes, i promise i will check it out later.