Trapped in a circle

7

Patch wasn't completely sure what he was talking about. It definitely sounded like he had been on a bad trip with acid. But in some crazy way, it made sense. Could actually explain everything. but he was crying. Was feeling happy really that bad for him? Did he think he wasn't allowed happiness? She asked him that.

"No, not really. I just don't deserve it anymore. I've ruined so much, all in order to get back to my family. And in the end, all I became for them was their doom. End and fall. So much for trying to save them."

He seemed to truly believe that. What a bullshit.

Patch was sure that in his position, she would have done the same, so why he kept blaming himself? He, at least, had tried.

"You never actually had a chance to be a kid, right? Because I saw how happy and unburdened you were and now, all I see is someone trying to take responsibility while trying to forget what they've had to sacrifice."

That remark made Five smile, but it wasn't a good smile.

"You're not entirely wrong. And I hate that."

"Tell me, what happened to your family?"

"I came back. After what to them was fifteen years, but to me years longer. I had already lived an entire life. I thought they will understand. well, I didn't consider that with changing time, they will change as well. Dad was never meant to live.

Patch had heard about the millionaire but there really was nothing too good involved with him and Five hadn't stopped talking.

"I'm not sure what went wrong. They attacked me to kill. Maybe AJ and Handler have something to do with that. We fought, I tried not to hurt them but it's not really an choice if it's six against one in a life and death battle. 

So I tried escaping. My calculations were wrong again and somehow, they came with me. Situation was bad, I was almost dead, when suddenly it flipped. Dad betrayed us all. I can only guess what was going around in his head. No matter what they tried, he was the only winner in the end who set us all in flames."

"So, Diego is dead. Killed by his own dad."

"As far as I know. I'm really sorry. Is there anything else you feel that you have no answers?"

"How did you end up where we found you and whose blood was on that rag?"

"I won't answer the last one." he was dead set with that what was rather strange.

"But for the first question, for the starters, I was rescued or I would have died with no chance to try again. Then I was helped so I could stay hidden from him and finally, we went to fight. As you can guess, it didn't end well. They all died and oh, there were so many."

He left out all the necessary details, like always, but this time she wasn't annoyed about that. 

Somehow, all of this felt like an goodbye.

He was planning  something and in no way managed to cover it up with acting as he tried. She had known all those sides of him for quite a time already.

"You're planning to go somewhere."

That wasn't even a question, but he completely denied everything and even dared to look surprised.

"No, why are you thinking that?"

"I know people. You're not any different from them. I know you're lying. Where are you going?"

"I'm not gona die."

"I didn't ask that." 

It was frustrating that this side of him never let others know what he was going to do.

"I asked where are you going. I'm worried 'cause like you said, it's only a moment of clearness. You'll be in problems if you go now and it fades, It'll be worse than ever."

"Not exactly where, but when. 1871, October 7."

"Day before The Great Chicago Fire."

"Yeah, it was dads fault. I don't care if I get stuck or confused anymore. That mess is mine to clear up."

He looked like he was about to leave. She jumped up and grabbed his arm.

"No, you can't go. Not without me. I'll keep you away from trouble and I want to save Diego even if our relationship won't work out no matter what. Like you said, I'm your mom."

In a way, his eyes were full of pity again when he answered.

"Sorry, not this time. You don't now anything about time travel or us. It'll only get you killed and I'm sure.."

He gave her a smile.

"that you'll make a wonderful mom someday to someone. But just not for me."

He released himself from her grip and disappeared.

She could do nothing but look how history rewrote itself. There was no more Five, no more mess and building wasn't abandoned. She could only smile to Pogo who asked her why she had come and leave quietly. 

She could still remember everything. Something had gone wrong. It didn't have to go like that.

Shit, she was even feeling too numb to cry.

***

End of part one.

AN: How was it? Enjoyable or not? Well, as it's not finished actually it's really hard to tell. There' s always a need to know more. Hopefully, one day, all of this will be clear as day.