O N Y X|| URBAN

9

Flashback

January 19th

I didn't feel normal , I didn't feel ok ,  I felt different but not in a good why , I had gained weight I didn't wanna be here anymore, I didn't wanna go anywhere anymore , I just wanted to be alone most of the days .

" are you going to school cy" mo asked

" no can you get my work for me" i said

" no I can't , because I'm not going either" she said

" why not ?" I asked

" because cyerika you had your back turned to me for 2 weeks straight , I probably don't even know what you look like anymore" she said

" I told you I'm fine I'm just tired" she said

" cy you're not fine , you're either crying or throwing up , what's wrong !" She asked

" nothing" i said

" turn and look at me NOW" she said

I sighed and just decided to turn to her , she analyzed me .

" your nose- nvm I missed seeing you pretty" she said

" yes I know my nose has gotten bigger , I know my face is swollen " she said

I hated everything about myself right now , I was fatter , and my nose had gotten wider , my face was swollen i just felt big all around .

" you're still so beautiful now tell me what happened" she said

I let out a sigh .

" I don't want to because if I think about it I'm just gonna cry again" i said

" that's fine , I'm listening" she said

" no I don't wanna talk" i said

" bro you have to , now go" she said

" that day I was sick .... Areyon came and got me , we had sex ... but it was so rough like it hurt so bad .... It didn't feel like love it felt like he was just trying to just get off I can't explain it , then he kept trying to do it again but I was like im sore , then ...."

I was cut off by tears starting to rush down my face .

" then what ?" She said

" he told me to lock myself in the bathroom , because kyra was in the living room and he fucked her the night before he fucked me but called me after he fucked her and said he missed me" I said

" cy , just leave him alone he's no good for you , you deserve the world and more" she said

" I don't know why I can't , it's so hard " I sighed

" i understand but he's hurting you babe , love isn't supposed to hurt , .... so why are you getting sick , what did he do to you" she said

" nothing , I don't know what's wrong , I think I'm just overwhelmed " i said

" did you eat yesterday" she asked

" yes" i said

" stop lying , cyerika" she said

" I try to , but It just doesn't taste the same , it makes me sick " i said

" I'm about to go tell my nana" she said

" whatever makes you happy mo" i said

She walked out and shut the door .

I didn't need help . I didn't want it , I just wanted to be alone , I didn't want to feel like a burden to anyone , I rather keep it inside and just deal with it the best way I can .