Noble Views

Chapter 13: Waves of Emotions

So uh... hi been a while huh... so sorry I haven't updated in like a month or so. It all started with a mouth infection to later not being able to think of anything for this chapter to other things happening to me 🙃 but hey I'm back just know I'm still working hard on this story.

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The waves make your stomach twist and turn just watching them crash into the boat with force, "ugh… ajax when is this hell over?"

The young man was rather amused by your unstableness watching you sway with the rocking of the boat, "we still got an hour to go, so just hang in there comrade."

You sullenly look towards the ocean unable to hold the distasteful sigh you had held onto, you weren't particularly fawning over the smell of salt.

"Oh before I forget, call me Childe when we're with other people." You couldn't help but give him a confused look as he waited for a response, "you aren't… joking? Are you?"

He shook his head, " why would I be joking, we're having a serious moment here." All you could see was a grin that meant otherwise, he was painfully messing with you yet again.

The rocking of the waves aggravated the boat as it rocked uncomfortably to one side a little too much, "nope nope I don't want to be fish food today, and you ajax…. You are such a child!" 

Ajax couldn't keep his laughter contained as he burst into fits of giggles watching your form tremble in anger, if you could you would have already smacked him. "Uh my lord… we will be arriving in about 30 minutes," this person seemed almost robotic with their speech as you watched, embarrassed forgetting the people around you were fauti soldiers.

Then it hit you. Your friend just lied about it being one more hour, all you could do was tighten your grip on the side of the boat as the anger in you boiled toward a very unaware Ajax still laughing.

You couldn't let him win so you did something you knew he would never like, "lord childe, how could you lie to your dear friend like that?" The tone of your voice sounded bland as you waited for Ajax to react to your unannounced switch. 

He froze, unable to process what you just uttered, his eyes darkening as he looked distraught. Unable to look in your direction, he sighed deeply as he shook his head in disappointment. "Y/n why do you always do this when something doesn't go your way," your anger subsided as you realized your mistakes.

You weren't with Scaramouche, you were with ajax. Your friend of many years that you trusted enough not to be so cold or unfeeling with, the person you didn't want to see a side of you that could treat you differently if he knew of that side that only scara knew. 

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to say that to you… it's just a habit I have with someone else," you didn't want to look at your friend who seemed in pain. You shamefully put your head down not wanting to utter a word as you felt the feeling of uselessness crawling onto your back.

This habit of yours came as a way to annoy Scara any chance you got since he was always in control; you needed to be on top at least once in a while. 

The silence between the friends was deadly awkward only being disrupted by the crash of waves and the chirping of the birds. The both of you couldn't stand it anymore turning to face each other, both a little stunned at the timing as you both looked into each other's eyes.

"Ajax… I" your words were cut off as Ajax walked toward you, his arms trapping you from escaping but how could you truly with how the waves made your stomach turn.

He leaned close as he whispered, "I know this is about Scaramouche, so don't apologize. I just wish you didn't have such habits like that."

You wanted to retort but ajax covered your mouth with his finger, he shook his head as a smile settled turning toward the other fatui soldiers. "You guys better get ready to unboard this ship once we reach the docks."

The rocking of the boat seemed to lessen as the horizon was painted in hues of orange and purple, the view was breathtaking as excitement rose; the city casting a shadow making everything look ethereal.

Ajax seems to enjoy your excitement, "is it really that great?" You visibly looked at him as if he was crazy, " of course it's amazing, all my life all I ever seen is snow; this is everything compared to that."

The joy you were feeling was everything, the breeze felt much brighter with the new outlook you had; everything felt right to you. All you had in mind was to explore the bustling city, to try the different flavors of a different nation.

You couldn't help but hum one of your favorite snezhnayan tunes, it seems like it got the attention of your friend as you couldn't help but giggle when Ajax joins sounding so off-key.

"You're really bad at that" Ajax smiled sheepishly, he expertly dodged your statement by complimenting you. "I mean you're much better at it than me, your voice is always relaxing when you hum," you couldn't help but smile at your friend's words so you continued to hum another tune just to pass the time.

"So… childe when we get to the docks where are we going first?" It felt so odd to use his harbinger name, unlike Scaramouche who you usually use the nickname since he openly didn't use his real name. "We will be heading toward the bank once we're off. I need to do some things before we can sightsee."

You didn't mind sightseeing later but you weren't very comfortable going inside the bank with ajax, you had a bad feeling just thinking of entering the area. The uncomfortable pit in your stomach was growing with each passing thought of even going inside, your hand clutched ajax's sleeve trying your best to breathe.

"C-can I skip going inside the bank" your voice was soft, your heart racing with each dry breath you took. "Y/n? Are you okay?" Ajax moves to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear to see you clearly only to grab you into a hug.

"Shhh breathe, take your time" your irrational fear just kept clawing at your back, the only thing you could do was clutch his shirt for the only comfort a friend could give; It hurt to breathe as each breath you took made the pit in your stomach grow, tears seem to form as you tighten your grip on his shirt.

His hand glides down your hair soothingly each stroke receiving with warm whispers, "Y/n let it all go, cry if you want." His words hit a cord as your body trembles, tears start to fall. Even if you wanted to stop they wouldn't so all you could do was sob in your friend's arms as he comforted you.

Where did this fear come from; you weren't sure why you were crying but it felt so relieving to let out the tears you had held onto for so long. "You feeling better now?" His words were soft, still soothingly caressing your hair.

"Yes… I just don't know what came over me..?" You couldn't look at your friend as you focused on your shaky hands, you were scared but you couldn't remember why.

Something or someone didn't sit right with you, all your attention was toward trying to control your racing heart. Each beat slowed as you took slow deep breaths, you couldn't completely stop it but you could finally breathe more normally at least.

"Y/n can you hear me?" The familiar voice breaks your concentration as you look toward Ajax's ever worried face, "Can I skip the bank? It seems I won't even be able to think about going inside." 

You weakly smile, ajax watching your every move just to see your smile drop as you sigh. You didn't feel okay, you felt tired of your unexplained fear. These attacks seem to get worse whenever scaramouche was gone for long periods of times.

He grabs your face with both hands, "are you okay?" The worrieness in his voice grounds you to your surroundings, "y-yes it seems like it's passed?" You wondered what was going on in Ajax's head when he saw you in this horrible state you get, was he beyond worried as your best friend?

Or were you a nuisance that he felt obligated to take care of…