I Won't Accept Your Regrets

Chapter 9

I promised myself that I wouldn't blame you for not giving me your love, but no, I can't keep my promise.

A regret and resentment that I had never had before crushed my heart.

I put my hand on my chest, where the heart was beating that had fueled one-sided love for so long. Tears of grief came to my eyes, which still did not stop.

I cried over and over. Oh, I cried for so long.

I stopped shedding tears only when the water dried up all over my body and I became dehydrated. I lifted my head from the damp pillow and blanket.

"Now... it's supper time."

After crying so much, my voice started to sound hoarse.

The sky, which was bright when I returned to the palace, turned into a dark blanket.

"Oh, supper!"

I immediately remembered dinner with Raymond, but suddenly I got up and stopped.

Habit is a terrible thing.

I plopped down on the bed with my head spinning.

And now I can't even look at Raymond at dinner.

Now all I have to do is to throw away the habits that have been established over the years.

It will be difficult at first, but I will try to discard everything that I am so used to.

I wiped the tears from my face and felt a throbbing pain in my stomach.

"Ah..."

The pain rang in my ears for a long time.

I had the unpleasant feeling that my back was too tense.

You shouldn't be nervous.

I was so stressed that I forgot about the baby for several days.

"No no."

I hugged my stomach with both hands.

However, the abdominal pain increased.

I hastily rang the bell on the table.

When the bell rang, the door flew open and Helen hurried into the room. She saw me grabbing my stomach and jumped up to me.

"Your Majesty! I'll call the imperial doctor right away!"

When Helen screamed desperately, I squeezed her hand tightly.

"You can't tell the imperial physician!"

"What? Your Majesty! Your face is very pale. I need to call a doctor right now."

"Send a messenger to the Duke of Croft quickly and fetch his doctor."

"What? Your Majesty..."

As Helen was confused, my pain grew stronger. I stopped talking to Helen.

"In any case, the imperial physician left the palace. The Duke's mansion is not far from the palace, so it will be faster..."

Helen shook her head as my persistence passed on to her.

"Yes, Your Majesty, I will immediately send a messenger for the duke."

Helen immediately ran out of the bedroom in search of a servant.

When Helen called for help, many of the maids came to my bed in confusion.

I instinctively wanted to cover my stomach, but I couldn't, because I was afraid the maids would notice. Nobody needs to know that I'm pregnant.

"Her Majesty is covered in cold sweat... we need a doctor."

Helen sent a messenger and returned to me.

As my breathing became hoarse, Helen's face filled with concern.

And my anxiety increased too.

Please, please, don't let anything happen to the child.

I can't lose him twice, God.

I was praying fervently at that moment.

Perhaps thanks to this prayer, the Duke Croft's men arrived much earlier than I thought.

"Your Majesty, the Duke Croft and the doctor are here."

Instead of me, who didn't have the strength to answer, Helen screamed.

"Go ahead and open the door!"

When the door opened, I saw my father running towards me with a frozen face. The family doctor followed.

"Your Majesty the Empress! What are you suddenly ... Harpen, go and check her."

"Yes, sir."

For a moment, the doctor tried to look at my body, and I gathered the rest of my strength and called the head maid.

"Helen, I want to be treated calmly, so let all the servants come out."

"Your Majesty..."

Helen looked at me anxiously. Since it was her duty to help the Empress, it was only natural that she did not want to leave now.

But I couldn't let her know that I was pregnant.

"That's an order."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Eventually, Helen took the servants and left the room.

Only then did I gasp when I saw that the door was tightly closed.

"Your Majesty, Empress. Why suddenly ... shouldn't we call the imperial doctor?"

I hurriedly took my father's hand and said:

"No, you shouldn't call the imperial doctor."

"But your Majesty's condition is now ..."

"I am pregnant. But the Sun of the Empire... he shouldn't find out," I said to my father, who held my hand tightly and was speechless from amazement.

"...!"

I am divorcing His Majesty.

***

In the same time.

Raymond, who was about to leave for the dining room later today, narrowed his eyes at the message from the Empress's palace.

"What?"

Raymond's harsh voice shook the servants.

"Her Majesty is not coming to dinner tonight."

"And today too?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

In Raymond's presence, the servant bowed deeply as if he had committed a sin.

But Raymond didn't notice anything else.

She's not coming today.

Since marriage, Ellie has never disrupted their schedule.

Yesterday he realized that she might feel bad, so he easily accepted the fact that she was not.

But there was no point in not coming today. It didn't sound like Ellie at all.

What's happening?

Raymond turned his gaze to the trembling servant.

"Any more news from the imperial palace?"

"No, Your Majesty, there was no other news."

"What happened to the Empress's Palace?"

As Raymond continued to question, embarrassment flashed across the faces of the servants.

And all because Raymond never paid such attention to Her Majesty.

However, Raymond did not seem to notice their strange behavior and closed his eyes impatiently.

"I haven't heard any news... But..."

"But what?"

"The Empress came to see you this afternoon, but instead of meeting you, she left."

"You said she was in my palace? When?"

"It was when you were out with Mrs. Lisa."

"...I see."

Though he answered in an indifferent tone, Raymond's heart pounded as soon as he heard what he said.

He was afraid that Ellie would see him with Liz.

He was amused by his experiences, but his face was already petrified.

"Your Majesty, should I cook you food in your room?" His servant asked cautiously.

"Not necessary."

"Your Majesty, didn't you have dinner today, I'm afraid you will waste away."

"I lost my appetite."

From the moment I heard that Ellie was in the palace, I felt as if my stomach had been crushed by a stone.

I could not understand why, but from somewhere there was a heaviness in my heart.

"Then would you like to go into the room?"

Into the room...

Hearing the servant's words, Raymond turned to the window.

Raymond looked at the silver palace and slowly moved his lips.

"I will go to the Empress's palace."

"Yes, Your Majesty.

In a hurry, they quickened their pace towards the palace.

However, as the palace approached, Raymond's pace slowed.

And when he noticed something, his steps completely stopped.

Raymond narrowed his eyes at the van in front of the Empress's palace.

"This emblem..."

It was the crest of the Croft Duchy, the Ellie family.

Why was the duke suddenly here at such a late hour?

"Has the Duke come to dinner?"

When I thought about it, my strange anxiety quickly subsided.

"Maybe we will return to the Sunny Palace, Your Majesty?" The attendant asked in case he misunderstood Raymond's wish.

"No. While I'm here, I want to see the Duke of Croft."

Unlike the previous one, Raymond walked to the empress's palace with an easier step.

However, his peace of mind was short-lived.

"You can't come in now."

The fact was that the duke went down and blocked the way for the emperor.

"Duke, are you blocking my path?"

To stand in the way of the emperor is a great crime. If it was someone else, the knights would have dragged him away for immediate execution.

However, Duke Croft was the first public figure in his reign and Ellie's father, so Raymond raised his hand to stop the knight.

But his dark eyes were colder than the fresh night air.

The Duke calmly repeated the same to Raymond.

"The Empress is not in the best condition. So, Your Majesty, please come back later."

"I should take a closer look at the Empress, because she is ill, Duke. I am the Empress's husband."

"Such a husband..."

The Duke muttered something quietly, but that was enough for Raymond to hear.

Raymond's face turned cold with a sarcastic whisper.