I Won't Accept Your Regrets

Chapter 100

I don't know why he is so angry at this moment.

He was not even angry with me, but because of his almost faded memories.

One story from the temple that I could never forget.

This was when I had a miscarriage.

"Your Majesty seems to lack faith. Therefore, God does not give us children."

I just blurted out to him out of stupidity that our child was killed by the lack of faith in him.

At that time I was out of my mind, and the words of the high priest sat down in my subcortex.

Later I learned that the temple said this only to annoy me in grief.

And today I came here. This time, even if the high priest had started his old song again, my reaction would have been different.

But I didn't think Ray still remembered that story.

And I don't know how he found me to be in the temple. But he seemed to be worried that the high priest would insult me.

But I didn't appreciate this gesture.

I could handle this myself.

And running to help me after so many years would be absurd.

"It's amazing that your Majesty says that now."

"What?"

"You seem to be really sad and angry about our past loss."

Something I had never seen before, that he mourned the death of a child.

Except for the very day of the miscarriage, he was just going about his business, meeting people and telling me things in common while I was in mourning.

"Don't be too sad. We will make a new child."

It may not have been my last child, but it was my first.

Even after Carlisle, I never forgot about the unborn firstborn.

I didn't want to cling to Raymond anymore, but the story of the miscarriage was already beyond the bounds.

Because he didn't even deserve to mention the unborn child.

I told him in a firm voice that could not hide my anger:

"Didn't His Majesty treat the child as if it weren't there at all?"

He asked, frowning:

"What are you talking about?"

"After the miscarriage, His Majesty did not shed a single tear. You just went to work with your head."

"...It."

"The only thing that supported me was the belief that I could have another child."

The more I spoke, the more I remembered the cruelty of that time, and my emotions grew stronger. In the end, I broke down and screamed.

"Never... Never came to console me! Have you ever missed a dead child? You have no right to talk about it!"

I took a deep breath to suppress my righteous anger. His face was frozen with embarrassment.

The moment I wanted to turn away, because I didn't even want to look at him, his frozen face weakened.

"... Ellie."

There was a suppressed groan.

"I didn't come ... because he was my first child, too."

He covered his face with his hand, as if distressed. And slowly he continued: