I Won't Accept Your Regrets

Chapter 40

"Maybe let's give the child the name 'star'? I want my child to always smile brightly, like a star."

"I want our child to be like you."

"Ray, do you want a son or a daughter?"

"Ray, look what I sewed today. Isn't that so cute?"

The memories that I buried deep in my heart now burst out with an explosion. The image of Ellie, who had the happiest smile in the world, emerged. Until the loss of a child.

"...I shouldn't have left her like this."

With my head I understood that I needed to comfort her, but her behavior was as ridiculous as in childhood.

Six years later, the memories still haunted me.

And even if Ellie can never forgive me, I wanted to see her face anyway.

She can start swearing, she can beat me. I just hoped she wouldn't turn around and leave.

Even if it's just my obsession.

"...Ellie."

Raymond covered his lips in the breathtaking desire to see her.

***

"Mom, mom, look! See how the birds fly in flocks!"

While we were at sea, Carlisle's voice did not subside.

Following his gaze, I saw a flock of birds flying south.

Carlisle screamed as if the sight in front of him was new to him.

"Looks like we're going on a trip with the whole family!"

A smile spread across my face. I said, hugging him by the shoulders:

"Are you so anxious to travel with your mother and Helen?"

"Yes! Really want to!"

Carlisle's face, even more worried, was infinitely bright.

I found myself in a situation where I could not travel abroad at will, and because of my work in our organization, I never even went to nearby places.

This is why Carlisle was overjoyed at the unexpected news that we were sailing to the Empire of Egrit.

He even ran up and down the room, smiling as if to tell me that he was so excited.

Seeing that he liked it so much, I decided that a voyage awaits us in the future.

"Carlisle, shouldn't we go to the desert kingdom on the western side of the continent after that? There are places where it is much hotter than here, and there are places where the sun never sets."

"Wow! I want!"

"Ha. Let's go."

"Carlisle, I bought ice cream."

Helen returned from the buffet on the ship.

"Mom, can I eat there with the other children?"

On the deck there was a place where the children gathered and played. When I nodded, Carlisle took the ice cream and ran to the kids.

Carlisle, who became blond with purple eyes with the help of magical tools, naturally assimilated with other children.

When Carlisle no longer looked at me, my smile vanished.

"Tomorrow morning we arrive at the empire."

Carlisle worried me.

When I thought about staying away from him for a while, it felt like a huge stone had been put on my heart.

"Helen, if Carlisle gets sick, don't think about anything, just take him straight to the duke."

"Yes."

When Helen nodded calmly, my anxiety subsided a bit.

"But actually I'm more worried about Ellie than Carlisle. And what about the Duke... What if His Majesty keeps looking for Ellie?"

Initially, I thought to immediately return to the duke's house, but changed my mind, since the ducal house was surrounded by the knights of the emperor.

If I enter the mansion right now, the knights will report to the emperor that I have returned, and rumors will spread throughout the empire.

I will have to move quietly to find out everything about my father's situation, so for now I thought to hide my return.

"In any case, His Majesty knows that I have left the Empire, so he will look outside its borders. Rather, it would be safer inside the empire.

"But why is His Majesty so persistently looking for Ellie?"

Helen knew the inside of my marriage to Raymond. Since she saw Raymond's carelessness, she could not understand his current obsession.

"Okay... You'll find out soon enough. In any case, I will have to meet him sooner or later."

When the trial takes place, naturally it will already be known that I have returned. And then a meeting with Raymond would have been inevitable.

"...can you leave the empire again?"

Helen looked worried.

The ideal future for me was to deal with my father's case, and then quietly leave the empire again with Carlisle.

But for some reason, it seemed to me that Raymond would not let me go so easily.

In his place, I would not even look for myself after six years.

Meeting Raymond promised me difficulties. At worst, I have to introduce him to Carlisle.

I turned and saw Carlisle laughing and playing with the other children.

"For now, I'll just think about how to clear my father's name. And even if I cannot leave the empire... so be it.

I will live like Ellie Croft, and Carlisle will take my last name.

The sun was setting. I stared at the reddening horizon.

It's time to return to the Empire.

A ship from the Kingdom of Lund docks in a small port of the Egrit Empire.

The port belonged to a small estate not far from the capital. In the early morning, a noise arose in the port. People came down to the ground in a crowd.

Holding the sleeping Carlisle, I got off the ship with Helen.

"Ellie, I think this is our man."

Helen pointed her finger at a certain man.

He was a young man with red-brown hair and a monocle.

The man, as if descended from the portrait, was wearing a blue cape, as indicated in the letter.

"Yes, it looks like."

Helen and I lowered our hats over our faces and walked over to him. He stopped looking at us and approached cautiously.

"...Ellie, right?"

"Right."

Putting Carlisle on the ground, I showed our counterpart my face. Since I was not wearing a magic bracelet, my original appearance appeared before him.

The man bulged his blue eyes in shock.

Responsible for a branch in Egrit's empire named Lumont. He was born and raised in the Empire.

Despite the fact that Jed contacted him in advance and warned about everything, it was written on his face that he did not believe in what was happening.

In addition, he became very nervous, so even in the cold wind, sweat appeared on his forehead.

"You're Lumont, right?"

When I asked him, who stared blankly at me with trembling eyes, Lumont woke up and hastily replied:

"Yes that's right. It's ... I'm honored to meet you ... Ellie."

Out of habit, he knelt down to greet the royal family member, but immediately straightened up.

There were many people around, and I am no longer the Empress.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead and forced himself to calm down.

"Nice to meet. This is Helen, my assistant."

"Ah, nice to meet you. Helen."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Lumont."

Helen and Lumont greeted each other. However, Lumont seemed to be distracted by something else.

"Lumont is the youngest branch leader in the order, and he is the best at what he does. He is a reliable guy because he knows how to think on the go. "

Jed's words, spoken with such a confident face, flashed through my head.

Jed said he was smart ... I don't think he was a complete zero.

"Lumont, how long are you going to be a pillar?"

"Oh, my apologies. Actually, when I saw you, I was so surprised... I apologize. Come on, we'll go by carriage."

Lumont, awakening from amazement, opened the carriage door. I hugged Carlisle and sat inside.

Finally Lumont got into the carriage, and soon the carriage started.

"Is the mansion ready?"

"Yes. We bought the estate of the disgraced baron's family. Before escaping, they set fire to their house, but everything was extinguished and repaired. That place is on the outskirts of the capital. The interior is good, you will be comfortable."

The mansion of a nobleman who fell into disgrace, and besides, after a fire - everyone will bypass such a place.

So it was a good place to avoid prying eyes.

"By the way, the child... Whose child is this?" Lumont asked, glancing at Carlisle sleeping in my arms.