Eva's Sins.

IX

„Even if stars will join you in this battle called life, fate will be against this, fighting with you in the rhythm of your heart"

  It was raining in Image when Albert was returning home after another sleepless night spent in Bingham, at the green table, where he again wasted a lot of money. Only after that, when no coin was left in his pocket, did Stonebridge decide that it was time to turn back home and he climbed in his carriage, asking his teamster to take the road to Image.

  And it wasn't only the feeling that „I must go home" that was spurring him to turn to Image, but it was also because of a weird thrill felt in his chest, something he had never felt before and which he couldn't explain. Frankly, he had that strange feeling for a few days already, right after Eva's departure. But, being stubborn, he preferred to lie to himself that it wasn't because she left. And, namely because that feeling was bothering him, he started to drown it with alcohol, a lot of alcohol. But seeing that neither this way he could chase it away, he decided that it was the right time for gambling, for only at the green table he felt himself alive. And, that time, everything has been as different as possible: the pleasure of playing vanished somewhere and, instead of this, he felt irritated.

  „Why? Why do I feel so?" Alfred kept wondering. „And why this feeling presses my chest so much? Especially after Eva left. It isn't as if I miss her or I'm sorry for what I've done to her. Yet, it sprouted inside me like a seed of pain, that suffocates me now."

  And, as if he felt that suffocation again, Alfred deeply breathed in. Then he breathed out and in again, but neither this helped him, even if he hoped that at least the coldness of the morning, filled to the brim with raindrops, will cool his heated soul. Instead, it not only didn't extinguish the arson in his soul, but it also made him feel powerless.

  Later, after taking many deep breaths from that fresh and cool air, hoping this to help him, Alfred felt his throat dry as if he didn't drink anything for a long time. And he wished then to at least had some alcohol with him, even if a drop only, but he remembered that it was nothing left in the bottle, that he drank it last night, before entering the gambling hall.

  Then, he remembered about water. But as it wasn't something that he used to carry with him, he sighed, for he realized that he was ashamed to ask the teamster if he had a little bit to give him too. So, he decided that it wasn't anything left but to bear till home.

  That's why, to kill time, just not to think about thirst, Alfred looked through the window, at those fields good wetting down by the autumn's tears. And, even if it was autumn for a good while already, Alfred realized this only then and this surprised him a lot, forcing him to sketch an ironic smile, spotting inside him his ignorance and stupidity, for... how was this possible not to realize that's autumn when everything around you is red, colored by the leaves fallen from the trees that allowed old autumn to tailor a thick coat over the ground? Yet, it seemed to him so beautiful at the same time, that landscape, especially with that colored coat, made by autumn not only from leaves but also from dried herbs and other small things forgotten by the world around or fallen from the sky, things that had been slowly burnt by the fire of time's heart.

  And it was a kind of romantic atmosphere around, even if sadness was felt everywhere, for the sky, of a dark grey, was filled to the brim with heavy rain clouds. Also, even if it has rained a lot a night ago, the clouds seemed not to be tired to spill their tears over fields and hills, over rivers and valleys, as if it had played, as if it had been too eager to see what kind of madness can they else do on those surroundings. Or maybe those clouds weren't naughty children, but old grouches, upset with the entire world which they tried to drown in the water of their tired soul. And the world, like a naughty child, but still one who accepted his mistake was waiting in silence for the punishment that was about to be sent from heights.