Eva's Sins.

XXXIV

"Sometimes life gives us a hard time when we want to love the most"

  The hatred Brian was feeling in his soul was unspeakable because he had never expected that Sophie would be so obsessed and so reckless of her rival, enough to wish her death. And even if Sophie never talked openly about this, Brian saw it in her eyes, full of jealousy and zeal, and this always made her lose control and accuse an innocent girl of Edward's death.

  "I'll never allow her this," whispered Brian, while his carriage was moving in a hurry on the London streets, washed by the brilliant midday sun.

  "Something goes wrong, mister Beneath? I see you are really downcast these days" told him Bardain, while keeping tightly the reins, so that the horses don't run wild and heaven forbid, feeling free, to trample someone under feet because this was something intolerable in modern English society.

  "Nothing special," Brian replied dryly, trying to send the teamster his hidden wish to be left alone, but on the other side, he wanted at least somebody to tell him that everything will end well, if he wants it and if he does things well.

  But what he was most afraid of was to be judged harshly by somebody, because he was feeling guilty for not keeping a tight rein his feelings for Eva and he made her love him so much that she entered his bed and she became his mistress, when he could first wait for his divorce of Sophie and then to marry Eva.

  However, as Bardain often says: "fate has its own plans. We are nobody to interfere in it" so he finally managed to control himself, when they were already out of London, heading toward Marlow in a hurry, where he knew Christine could be, because even if he tried not to face her, especially after making plans with Beatrice Evans to help John to apply for the Prime Minister position, but this time he hadn't any other choice. He must find Eva as quickly as possible until Sophie won't plan something devilish, that can hurt the woman he loves the most.

  But Brian was also afraid that he wouldn't find her. He was afraid that Sophie, who had much more influence than he had, thanks to the acquaintances of her father, will be the first in finding Eva and to destroy her future, she will tell the girl about the reasons why Brian approached first Alfred Stonebridge and her, but what he didn't know was that Sophie lost most of those connections because most of the Edward's "best friends" and partners were afraid not to end like him and they tried not to reveal the fact that they had been once in good relationship with him and about the businesses and plans that they made, while the ex-Prime Minister was still alive.

  "Tell me, Bardain, what would you do if you hate someone so much that you wish him death?" Brian asked, in the end, his teamster, but even if he tried to be extremely calm and calculated, a slow shaking of his voice was betraying him, but this didn't bother at all Bardain, who took his time to think about the meaning of the question and then he answered calmly as if he chose his words: "Probably I'll kill him, mister Beneath. Usually, I am a calm person, but if someone manages to drive me crazy, I'll be cruel at heart, because my honor is the most important for me."

  "Honor," Brian told himself. He had forgotten this word for so long or at least he pretended not to know its meaning because it was why he was afraid - that this "honor" will make him step back and finally lose Eva. Yes, he was afraid. Such a successful and great man as Brian started to fear the loss of a woman and not an ordinary woman, but one who managed to "touch" his soul.

  He loves her. Yes, he loves her and he wishes to be with her, but he still can't find the right path that will bring them together, happily and forever. He fought with himself and with the world for months, he knocked on many doors, but he couldn't find an answer, and the fact that Eva finally disappeared somewhere made Brian doubt if she went somewhere alone or someone forced her because Eva wasn't a woman to go somewhere in silence, without telling him a word, without sending him a note at least or to tell him goodbye, but she left ... somewhere and that place he doesn't know it and she also didn't say goodbye to him.