Five Foes, A Murder & Lies

Apple Tree

Blair's POV:

"Explain your relationship with Margo Watson, to the court Blair Wilson. You two didn't seem as close as Cleo and Margo. So why did you choose to partake in the battery and assault?" the lawyer asked, as i sat up in my chair. "I.. just like Emelie, was also skeptical of Margo, especially since she didn't get out of school much. Didn't have much human interaction, and lacked experience at public school" i started, as Margo's mother shifted in her seat. I then cleared my throat, "But i too saw what Cleo was saying, and Toby Sullivan. Margo had something about her that just made everyone around her feel comfortable and understood. Accepted and respected. She made you feel loved. Her happiness radiated and bounced off of her whenever she walked into a room. That's what made her so addictive to be around" i said. 

"Every time Margo would leave, it was like you just needed that feeling again, like it was some desire, some craving." i said, as i thought more about addiction. My addiction. It started when i was prescribed medication for pain from a broken arm. Fell off my skateboard the wrong way and ever since then, i've been afraid to get back on it. I wanted meds to take the pain away, dull it at least. But when i did so, i ran out of my prescriptions one day, so i decided to use my mother's. Who at the time, was a junkie. My mom had almost died before, of an overdose, and that was the reason why my father left her. But he couldn't take care of me on his own, so he left me with my aunt. Who i've been with ever since. 

My mom ended up in rehab and lost custody right of me ever since. So of course feeling unwanted and useless is what fueled my desire for drugs. Which started addiction. I didn't feel those things, i didn't want to feel at all. So i found a dealer just a few blocks away to sell me more. Eventually i kept meeting up with the guy, and started doing drugs all throughout middle school and the beginning of high school. I even sold some of my own. 

But, during the process of Emelie coming to terms with her sexuality, it caused me to feel even more useless. Cause she would kiss me, but never break up with Griffin. I found myself using a lot more often because of that. And it's because the emotions i felt about my mother not loving me, and my father giving up on me, were nothing compared to Emelie just using me as a distraction or some experiment. I wanted to feel like i deserved better, but then i wanted to keep feeling nothing at all. But it was hard, cause no matter how many drugs i succumbed too, it was never enough to keep Emelie off my mind. 

It was so difficult because the drugs just highlighted the emotions i felt. One day, my aunt had told me there was no way i was making it into college, because we could never afford it. My father was kind enough to send paychecks every month for my benefit, but soon he stopped. And above all, it was never enough for us. This news sent me over the edge, i met up with my seller during passing time, off school grounds. Then retreated to the restrooms, having no intention of leaving alive. I sat down on the disgusting floor of the restroom, and took out a belt, a syringe, and a spoon. I then reached into my pocket, feeling for a lighter. 

As i mixed the substance and then tightened the belt with my teeth around my arm, after i burned the substance with the lighter. I used the syringe to intercept the substance, and inject into my veins. My heart was racing in that moment, and i just remember thinking about nothing else except how i felt. How i felt about my life, how i felt about my mother, how i felt about my father, and i felt about.. Emelie. 

Emelie.

But before i could think twice about my situation, my eyes rolled back and everything went black. The only thing i remember was waking up in the nurses office. My head was aching, and an IV was plugged into my arm. I squinted my eyes, as i looked up to a small bag of fluids, hanging above me. As i tried to rip out the IV, a hand stopped me. When i looked up to see who it belonged too, it was Margo.