In Two Years

Chapter 5: The Project

The excitement I have before walking into photography is not just from my love of photography anymore. There's a new variable at hand, and I can see the luscious black curly hair of that variable as I get closer to my seat.

"Good morning." I blithely say to Riley.

"Good morning. Hey, have you thought about when we should start taking pictures for our project?"

"Not really. But we could start today. I don't have another class until 5."

"Great." There's silence between us. I hate that I'm like this. Sometimes my mind just goes completely blank, and I have nothing to talk about.

"I thought we could drive over to the lake nearby. I think we could get some aesthetically pleasing photos over there."

"That sounds wonderful!" The excitement in his voice creates a single spark inside my heart.

"I would just need to head back to my room to grab my camera and anything else we might want to use for our photos."

"Sounds like a plan."

The thought of having to spend more time with Riley makes me incredibly nauseous. There are about a million stupid things I could end up saying to him. Or it could be painfully silent. There are two ways I get when I'm nervous. I either turn into a rambling mess or I sink back into my shell and end up not talking at all. I'm going to end up humiliating myself today, one way or another. 

I walk out of the door and head to Riley's car that's parked right in front of the building I live in. When I get outside, I see Riley standing on the side of his car waiting for me.

"Hey," I say once I see him.

"Hey." He says as he opens the car door for me.

"Are you always a gentleman to the people you have to work with?" I tease.

"Just the pretty ones." I roll my eyes as he closes the door.

I can feel my temperature rising. My heart is warming up. She's prepared to jump out of this car and go a long distance. Far away from here.

Once Riley and I arrive at the lake, we park the car and start walking into the forest that surrounds the water. We walk until we find the perfect landscape to use as the background of our photos.

For our project, I suggested using my childhood raggedy teddy bear as the subject for our photos. I thought it would create an eerie photo since the clouds are already shielding the sun.

I brought the teddy bear and my Canon EOS RG Digital camera that my dad gave me before he passed away. His favorite hobby was photography. Our family would take trips down to the mountains in Tennessee during the holidays. My dad would get so excited to have a photoshoot in the snow every year. He's the reason I decided to major in photography. He was one of the only people who believed in me and saw my potential in art.

Since I am the one who brought everything we need for our project, Riley wanted to be the one to take the photos, so he felt like he actually contributed and wasn't just the chauffeur. I hesitantly hand over my camera to Riley, and I place my teddy bear where he directs me.

"How do you feel about being another subject in our little project?" Riley asks me.

"What do you mean?" I say confused.

He walks behind the teddy bear and points down. "Could you stand right here?"

I obey him and walk to the exact spot and just stand there. He squats down and starts snapping photos. I decided to try something too. I turn around and start walking away. He gets what I'm attempting right away and continues to snap pictures.

He stands up when he decides that he's collected enough images.

Riley walks over to me and shows me the pictures he took. He stands so close to me. I can feel his arm on the back of my shoulder. I'm trying so hard to not turn the color of my hair. I swallow a lump in my throat. I force myself to focus on the pictures he took.

Some of the pictures he shows me have the teddy bear in focus with the beautiful lake and trees in the background out of focus and my black wedges off to the side. The ones where I'm walking away are my favorite.

You question what is happening. Did that girl just drop off that teddy bear? Why is she walking away from it? Is she abandoning it? It leaves you wondering what the story is.

In my eyes, the girl decided to ditch the teddy bear. The teddy bear resembles all of the pain and hurt that she needs to leave in the past.

It makes me think of how much I would love to let things go. I wish I could just drop all of the trauma of losing my father in the middle of the forest and forget about how I will never be able to see him again.

"How do you feel about them?" His words snap me back to reality.

"They are perfect. I didn't know you were an artist." I say smiling.

"I just try my best to take the photo. The subject really does all the work. Good job buddy. You nailed it." Riley says to my teddy bear as he picks him up and gives him a high five. I smile and shake my head.

"I think we should edit the photo. Change it to black and white and lower the saturation to enhance the eerie feeling."

"I like the way you think. But I have no idea how to use Photoshop."

"I'm happy to do it." Editing photos is one of my favorite hobbies. Playing around with the color balance, highlighting, hue, and saturation. I remember my dad using a picture of my mother to teach me how to use all of the tools in Photoshop when I was in middle school.

It was a Saturday night when he didn't have to work. Those nights were very rare, so we would prolong the time we had with him. He chose my mom's senior photo to edit. Her photo didn't need any editing, of course, but he didn't want to choose any other photo to play around with. He made her glow brighter by darkening the background and enhancing all of the highlights. My mom printed that edit out. She still has it hanging above the fireplace in her apartment.

I grow despondent when I think about her selling the house. Living in that house without him made her more depressed.

"I don't want you to be the one carrying this project. You came up with the subject, you brought the object, and now you are going to be the one editing. I'm not here just for a free ride. I want to contribute."

"You took the photos. That's contributing." I smile at him to lighten the mood. He doesn't look too pleased though. "I know how to edit and teaching you how to edit will be more work. It will only take me thirty minutes at most, it's not a big deal. But I'll tell you what. After we are completely done, you can pay me back."

"Pay you back how?"

"I don't know yet. But I'll figure something out for you to do." I tease.

"I'll be looking forward to it." His concerns drop from his face.