In Two Years

Chapter 18: Advice

 I walk into the cafe and see mom serving Jim and Elenor, a lovely elderly couple. They are regulars here who have been coming in every day for the past year. They have been together for the past 60 years, and with the chemistry between them, you wouldn't even doubt that they've been together that long.

They see me and gesture their hands over to them.

"Jo!" Elenor says with a gleaming smile. "It's been a lifetime since we've seen you." I roll my eyes in a joking manner. No matter how busy I am with school or a job, I make sure to come here at least once a month to see mom. Every time I come back, Jim and Elenor are always sitting at the same booth at 3 p.m.

They both try to stand up to give me a hug, but I insist they stay seated and bend over to hug each of them. They are in their 80s, even though they act like they are still 20.

"So Jo. Tell us. How's school going?" Jim asks, and right before I can answer, Elenor says "Are there any boys fighting for your heart?" She asks as if the answer is going to change since the last time she asked.

"We both know at this point you wouldn't just give any boy your heart." Jim chimes in.

"Hell no! They would have to earn it by fighting in a war first before she even considers giving her heart to anybody." Elenor loves to be overdramatic. She's a romantic like me, so I can't blame her.

"You guys are hilarious," I say without laughing. "Actually, there is a boy." Their eyes pop out of their heads like flies. "I met him this semester. He's why I'm here actually. I need to talk to mom about him."

"Well don't let us keep you waiting! Go talk to your mom!" Elenor almost pushes me out of the booth.

I take one of the stools right in front of the cash register. I know my mom will have to come over to the register eventually, so I just wait patiently for her to be done grabbing a check from an empty table.

"What can I do for you, my love?" Mom says as she is already pouring black coffee into a mug for me.

"I need advice, I think."

"You think?"

"I have this guy friend. And..." I hesitate. My mind starts racing, and I feel like I could cry. I want him so much. But I don't want to lose him.

"You want him to be more." I nod my head. She always knows how to read me.

"He's so gorgeous, mama." I hide my face in my hands and start laughing. "He's 6'4 and has dark brown curly hair."

"Ah, so that's the boy I saw you with during the first week of school!" I had no idea my mom saw us when we met up the first time to work on our photography project.

"Yeah. I didn't know you were working that day. I didn't see you."

"But I saw you. I'm not surprised you didn't see me. You were so engaged in him. It would have taken a meteor shower to get your eyes off of that boy. I didn't know you guys were just friends. From my point of view, it looked like you were on a date. I didn't want to interrupt."

"We weren't on a date. We were working on a project for photography. We had only met two days prior."

"Well, you fooled me."

"I do want to go on a date with him. But I'm so terrified that I've made him into somebody he isn't."

"Honey." She starts to play with my hair. That's one thing she continues to do to soothe me. "Do you know my first impressions of your father?"

"Didn't you find him attractive right away?"

"Well yes. Physically. But I assume he was like all of the other hot guys in school. They were all assholes. Your father was a football player. You know what they say about football players..."

"They get drunk and have sex with everyone." That makes my mom laugh.

"That's a nice way of saying it. I just assumed your father was that way. So I didn't even try to talk to him."

My parents' relationship was what I always strived for. I set the bar so high for guys, but reality punched me in the face when I dated my ex. It was a hard pill to swallow that there are men out there who want to control the women they date. My dad treated my mom like a queen growing up, and my sister and I were his princesses. He would do anything to make us smile and laugh. He would listen to every word my mom would say and it would show by his actions. He was so quick to listen and so slow to anger.

I strived to find a man like my father. I wanted a prince and a knight in shining armor in one. My parents showed us what unconditional love looked like. I don't want to fall for someone who doesn't treat me the way my dad treated my mom... again.

"Your dad asked me out one day, but I turned him down because of my fear. My best friend yelled at me, and it took a lot of convincing from her to change my mind. But I am so grateful that I did. I got to have the best life with your father." She starts choking up. She hasn't talked about my dad like this since he died.

"I'm so scared, Mama. I don't want to get hurt again. But I'm so in love with love. I'm the one who's obsessed with love. Anytime I read about it, think about it, or watch any show that has it, I'm happy. I get to stay in my own little world where it's safe, and I can experience the one thing I've never been able to before. I don't get hurt in there. My past doesn't get in the way of what I want. There's no possibility of pain. But here, there is. If I try something with Riley, it could end in blazing flames."

"Darling. You need to stop being so scared of guys. You have clearly gotten attached to this guy. Don't let your fear get in the way of something good. Which might apply to this as well." She grabs something from under the cashier. It's a flyer. "I'm hosting a karaoke night here on Friday. I would love it if you could sing."

"Mom, I can't.

"Yes, you can. You've been singing since you were 3, and your voice has such an angelic and resonant tone. You love to sing, and I know you wish you had the confidence to perform. You're such an artistic woman when it comes to photography, and you get that from your father. But you get your singing from me." I laugh, but I know it's true.

My mom has always had the best voice. My dad had so many recordings of her singing saved to his phone. That was one of her favorite ways to bond with her children. She would sing to us while putting us to sleep, when we were scared, and when we were happy. She's always been a little timid about her singing, but she would still find the confidence to perform for people. My parents were multi-talented in many aspects. I found one thing and stuck to it.

"Think about it." I take the flyer and neatly pack it away in my backpack.