My phone vibrates as I wake up.
Riley: You kissed me last night.
Me: No I didn't
Riley: Don't gaslight me
Damn that psychology brain of his.
Me: Have I ever told you I hate psychology?
Riley: Nope and I don't believe you
Riley: You. Kissed. Me. Jo. I might have been intoxicated, but I was well aware that your lips were on mine.
I don't reply. I don't know how to reply. I'm embarrassed that I did that last night. I can't believe I did it.
I actually kissed Riley. He didn't kiss me. Well, he did. But I started it. I never imagined I could do that. But he did kiss me back. Which confuses me even more and makes my heart do somersaults in my stomach.
Riley: Jo. You can't run away from this.
Me: I most certainly can.
Riley: You. Kissed Me.
Me: Yeah, you keep saying that.
Riley: If you would have told me that all I needed to do was drink some Bacardi for you to kiss me, I would have done that day 1.
Jo: I was not planning on kissing you.
Riley: But you did kiss me. Which is quite out of character for you. You plan out everything.
Me: Tell me about it.
Riley: I want to see you.
Me: Not allowed.
Riley: And why is that?
Me: I'm busy.
Riley: With what?Me: School. Work. Things.
Riley: Jo, I know you. You are never THAT busy with school, work, or things.
He's right. I know how to balance work, school, and my sanity. I know myself well enough to know that if I'm drowning in work, my mental health breaks, making me not to be alive. I always make time for myself and my friends to keep the voices in my head at bay.
Riley: Come on Jo. We don't even have to talk about kids.
Me: Kids??? Since when do we have KIDS?
Riley: Kiss* stupid autocorrect.
But I want to talk about the kiss. I am smiling so big right now that my cheeks hurt.
30 minutes after I leave Riley on read, there is a knock on my door.
I open it and tug Riley by the shirt and pull him inside. I've never seen him grin so big. I don't know what happens first, but his hands are now on my body at the same time I attack his lips.
Many Hours Later
I open my eyes to a beautiful man's long arms wrapped around me. I tried to convince myself for so long that I didn't crave a man. I didn't want to let another man into my life after my dad's death. Seeing the pain my mom was drowning in after losing the love of her life was something I never wanted to experience. My mom lost the love of her life, but I lost the first man I ever loved. I couldn't let myself believe that I could find another man to take his place. But I let a man into my life. And that was a mistake. My ex never satisfied my craving for another man in my life. He made me believe that I would never find a guy as amazing as my father.
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In Two Years
RomansaJosephine Bellamy is a student at the University of Massachusetts. Jo is a hopeless romantic who has decided to take a break from love. Although she fantasizes about love, she has decided that she would not let that get in the way of her studies. On...