In Two Years

Chapter 19: Karaoke

My mom is putting live music in the cafe. She asked me if I would sing. Nobody knows how much I wish I could. I just can't.

I take the flier and pin it up on my wall. Hopefully, this will torment me enough to actually do it.

"What's that?" Riley's voice is behind me.

"How did you get in here?" I laugh. I have become so smitten with this man.

"Ella let me in." Of course she did.

Riley takes a seat in my Danica chair as I step off of my bed. His body is way too long for such a small piece of furniture.

I look at the flyer from my doorway. "My mom is having a karaoke night at the cafe this Friday. She wants me to sing."

"I bet you're an incredible single." I look at him with dubiety. "Do you sing a lot?"

"A little. My mom sang around our house all the time. She tells me that I would copy her when I was younger. And I was in choir in high school. I dreamt of doing a solo, but I'm just not a solo kind of person."

"You always can be."

"It's not in me."

"Why did you pin that flyer on your wall then?"

I try to come up with an answer. "I don't know."

"Jo. I think there's a little piece of you that wants to do this."

It's ludicrous how close Riley and I have gotten within these past couple of months. He's able to read me. I'm not sure if I like it yet.

"You know. It sucks that you're right." He laughs.

"What scares you?"

"Everything."

"I know that." He shakes his head and stands up. "What scares you about performing?"

"Again. Everything." I take a breath. "All the attention is on you. I hate that. I've only ever liked attention from people I know and trust. I have never liked strangers looking at me even though it happens as soon as I walk into a room. Why do people do that?"

"Do what?" I realize he's standing closer to me. When did he get closer?

"Look at me as soon as I walk into a room? They don't do that with other people."

"Everybody looks at people when they walk into a room."

"Not everybody. And not with everyone. But I always get looked at. Trust me, I've noticed."

"Well, you're absolutely stunning." My heart stops. "Blind people would even drop everything they are doing to look at you. I understand that you are scared of everyone, but nobody is scared of you, and there is a reason for that."

"What's the reason?"

"You're a bright light, Jo. If someone has a cloud around their head, you're the sun that shines through it. People are going to look at you. You just need to get used to it." He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.

"That's going to be very uncomfortable for me to do."

"Well suck it up buttercup." I laugh, but it's uncomfortable. I've been so tense from everything. School. Work. Anxiety. Specifically anxiety from the idea of performing. I try to move my neck around to release some tension.

Riley notices and moves behind me. He puts his hands on my neck which immediately makes me shiver. "Sorry." He laughs at me.

"It's okay. Do it again." He lightly places his hands back on my neck and starts massaging.