Formula Short Stories And Stuff

LS Dead Roses 🎶

(Inspired by "Deadroses" by Blackbear)

I'm not okay
With the distance that's been growin'
Girl, I'm not okay
I love you, never show it
And I'm not afraid
Of the future, what it's holdin'
Girl, I'm not afraid
Let me shut my eyes, I'm zonin'

Setting another rose in front of her door, Lance stopped and took in the moment. He had been placing roses by Lucy's door for almost 2 months. He never thought the day would come but she had broken up with him when he returned from Bahrain. She felt as though he no longer loved her. Never showing her or making her believe her suspicions weren't true. She had tears in her eyes the minute he knocked on her apartment door. Lucy had been practicing what she was going to say for weeks before she did it and she knew Lance would be tired after a double header and wouldn't want to fight with her so she thought now was a better time than any. He leaned in to kiss her and got her cheek as she ushered him to the couch. Looking in his eyes she almost decided against it but the way she had been feeling these past few months over powered her and she went through with it anyway.

Lance knew something was wrong the minute he opened the door. Her eyes were glassy and she seemed extremely distant. She turned her face when he tried to kiss her and he was brought to the couch right away. She took a deep breath before words just started pouring out of her mouth. He couldn't catch what she was trying to say and stopped her before she fainted. She took a deep breath and started again. She started off slowly, telling him that lately she had been feeling extremely lonely and sad. She told him she knew his job was stressful and would take him far away from her but even when he was home she felt like he was a thousand miles away. She would eat dinner alone, climb into bed alone. She had even gotten some photos of them from the Canadian grand prix printed and put in frames for around the apartment and he said nothing about it. Barely noticing it at all. She told him it seemed as though he just assumed food would be in the fridge and that laundry would be done. She felt invisible in her own relationship. She knew the change from Racing Point to Aston Martin would be difficult and that testing the car, building the factory and making a name for themselves was difficult and time consuming but while all this new was being built, she felt like their relationship was falling apart. He called her every once and a while during race weekends but when she didn't pick up or said she was busy, he just accepted it without question. She wasn't busy. Not with anything real anyway. She would sit at home, alone with the TV on so it didn't seem like dead silence. She moved through the day like a machine and she didn't reach out to anyone anymore.

Lance looked around while she spoke softly and saw the photos hanging on the wall. Photos of her beautiful smile and her hugging him in the garage and Chloe and Lucy in his helmet making silly faces. He smiled thinking about that day. He was feeling a little down and the car was not performing how he wanted it too. Far too much oversteer and he kept ending up in the gravel runoffs in free practice. Lucy had noticed that he held he shoulders low when entering the garage and went over to hug him right away. He hadn't even taken off his helmet yet. She smiled up at him with her golden eyes and her pearly white teeth and told him that she wanted to try his helmet on because worst come to worst, she would in fact take over driving the car for him. She had already talked to Lawrence about it and while everyone knew it was a joke, Lance still pulled his helmet off and placed it on top of her head. It was sweaty and warm but she let it fall on top of her head anyway and turned to the mechanics and told them to get the seat ready and to fill the car with the fastest fuel because she was coming for Lewis's title. Everyone in the garage laughed and Lance could only smile as he looked around the garage at the faces of the Aston Martin employees as they laughed along with his girlfriend. She knew how to brighten everyone's day and turn a cloudy day into a rainbow. But now here she was crying on the couch talking about how she felt as though she lost her own boyfriend and how she no longer felt loved. She had tears steaming down her cheeks now. Not pulling her hands out of her lap to wipe them away and letting them fall  onto her sweater. He didn't want it to be true but he had broken his own girlfriends heart. He had made it seem like he did not love her anymore and had let her fall into oblivion. He can't believe he had let himself do this to the women he loved. He was so caught up in trying to prove himself in this new team and help his dad build a new reputation but he had overlooked the thing that mattered more than all of that and it was his girlfriend. As he let these thoughts pass through his head she said the words he had never hoped she would ever say. The words he had dreaded the most. I think we need to break up.

He stopped her from rambling. Tried to apologize, reason with her, anything to make her stay but it seemed as though she had made her mind up before he even knew what was happening. He realized that her stuff was nowhere to be seen just his belongings scattered around the apartment where he had left them weeks ago. Not a hockey stick or tissue box out of place. She took his hand slowly and looked him in the eyes and apologized for everything. She wished him well and told him that she would always love him in some capacity but right now was just not their time. She wished him all the success at Aston Martin and that she knew he would prove everyone wrong because he was truly an amazing and gifted driver. She leaned in to hug him one last time, taking in his scent and his warmth and giving herself just one more moment in his arms.

Tears fell out of Lance's eyes as he held her close to his chest. All he could keep saying was that he was sorry, that he was so sorry he didn't tell her he loved her more and that he wanted her to stay. That he wished he had seen all of this and that he wanted to make it work, he wasn't ready to let her go. He was fulling crying at this point, tears dripping from his chin into her auburn hair. She looked up at him, crying just as hard as he was and told him that maybe they would be together again someday or in another life but right now she needed to take a break from everything. She needed to love herself again too. He slowly nodded and let his arms drop from around her. She walked to the door, put her shoes on and grabbed her bag, taking one last look around the apartment her and Lance had shared for the past 2 years. All the times she would wait for him to come home and race down the stairs jumping into his arms. All the times they made blanket forts in the living room and the sock hockey games played in the halls. All the times they kissed at that door, her with tears in her eyes and him promising that he will be home soon and drive safe just so he can see her again. She turned and smiled at Lance, blew him a kiss and walked out of the door.

He fell onto the couch and cried. He had lost the women he loved all because he was so worried about what others thought about him. He stopped taking the time to appreciate all the people around him who did love him. He didn't notice the distance between them until it was too late and he had no way of fixing it in time to save their future.

Weeks passed and Lance had found out she was staying at a friends place until she found a place of her own. He wanted to see her but also wanted to respect her time healing. He passed a flower stand on the corner with beautiful red roses and smiled thinking about how on their first date he brought her a bouquet of them and how much she adored them. She had even saved one of them and pressed it in a book to dry and keep forever. She had put it in a dish of resin and made a small paper weight out of it. Whenever she would pass her desk she saw the rose and would smile thinking about that first night when Lance picked her up in his all black corvette, black polo golf shirt neatly tucked into a pair of black semi dress pants and a pair of Nike dunks with just a kiss of red to accent the red roses he held out to her when he got to the door.

He took his wallet out and asked for a single red rose. Taking the rose he walked down the main street all the way to her new place and rode the elevator up to the 7th floor. He had been here once when she had invited him along to a superbowl party with a group of her friends. He had wanted to take her to the actual superbowl but she told him that it was more fun to spend the time with people you love. He walked down the hall got to door 708 and stopped in front of it not knowing if he should knock or not. He decided against it this time and placed the single rose on her welcome mat and walked back down the hall.

Everyday since that day he would pass the same shop, buy one rose and leave it on her doormat in hopes that she might call or text him asking to see him again or go out for a cup of coffee or a drink but it was 2 months now and it was radio silent. Not a word from her. But everyday when he went back to drop the newest rose off the rose from the day before was not there anymore. Either someone had taken them, they had been thrown away or she had seen it and brought it inside. He made his way up the elevator, down the hall like he did everyday and right as he got to her door he saw a small box sitting there. He knelt down and found writing sticking out of the side of the box and he knew the handwriting almost instantly. He could spot her chicken scratch anywhere. This was the first time something was waiting for him back. These were the first words he had heard from her in months. He pulled the paper out and began to read

Turn the radio down
And lay you down too
I could be the one for you