Formula Short Stories And Stuff

AL Enough for You🎶

Inspired by Olivia Rodrigo's "Enough for You"

I wore makeup when we dated
'Cause I thought you'd like me more
If I looked like the other prom queens
I know that you loved before
Tried so hard to be everything that you liked
Just for you to say you're not the compliment type
I look at my bathroom counter. Hundreds of dollars in makeup scattered across the surface. Lipsticks, powders, brushes. Expensive jewelry I bought so that maybe I could catch your eye, just like I thought I did the first day we met. Arthur you have been with so many gorgeous women and I was just me. I was no one sitting at the bar, alone, drinking some fruity cocktail when you sat down beside me to strike up a conversation. You were a mysterious, handsome man with a butter soft accent. You swept me off my feet. I would have done anything for you. I did anything for you.
When we got together I thought that maybe you would open up more. That you wouldn't walk to quickly away from me in the paddock or that maybe you would hold my hand or go to a restaurant with me during the day. I spent all my money on dresses and shoes and jewelry just to look pretty enough to be seen with you but I could never get you to look at me the way you looked at me when no one else was around.
Maybe you would say something when we were alone but in public I could barely get more than a hi.

And I knew how you took your coffee
And your favorite songs by heart
I read all of your self-help books
So you'd think that I was smart
Stupid, emotional, obsessive little me
I knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave
I memorized everything about you. Bringing you coffee after a race weekend and playing only music you loved in the car. I stopped focusing on school and spent all my time learning about your passion in hopes it would impress you or that you would take me to more races with you. I let everything about myself go and changed everything. How stupid of me to fold for a guy who never really loved me but I think some part of me always knew you wouldn't stay. So I tried to keep you as long as I could. It was never enough.

You found someone more exciting
The next second, you were gone
And you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong
And you always say I'm never satisfied
But I don't think that's true
'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough for you
And all I ever wanted was to be enough for you
When you finally broke up with me my heart shattered. I was a wreck for months only to see you at the next race with someone new on your arm. Someone you deemed worthy to step out in public with. You just showed me that I would never be enough for you. Leaving me alone in my own sadness, while this barely even phased you.

And maybe I'm just not as interesting
As the girls you had before
But God, you couldn't have cared less
About someone who loved you more
I'd say you broke my heart
But you broke much more than that
Now I don't want your sympathy
I just want myself back
You never told me I wasn't what you wanted. You never told me I was not enough but you showed it in every way and I changed everything about myself for you. Now I'm stuck trying to find who I was before you. You broke down every last piece of myself I had left. You saved my heart for last although in my head I already knew you planned on doing that first.

Before you found someone more exciting
The next second, you were gone
And you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong
And you always say I'm never satisfied
But I don't think that's true
'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough
A couple of weeks after I saw you with your new girl, I saw you had already gotten another. For a split second I though of how lucky I was to last longer than the one after me but I realized how fucked up that was. You always complained about me being so desperate to be seen with you or us going public, saying that we shouldn't become public just to appease the fans or to boast my ego. It was never that. I loved you and I wanted to be enough to be shown.

Don't you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded?
Don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?
But don't tell me you're sorry, boy
Feel sorry for yourself
'Cause someday I'll be everything to somebody else
And they'll think that I am so exciting
And you'll be the one who's crying
Time passed and sadness turned into anger and all I could think about was how selfish you were to go through me like tissue. You really thought my love was a show you could put on or have when you wanted it. That my love was something that could be there when you needed it and gone when you didn't want it.
In the end I think I always knew I deserved to be loved differently. Loved more. Loved enough to be someone's whole world and not just something in the background. I hope one day you'll look back and regret it but that's asking to much from someone like you. Maybe you'll change though. Maybe you'll get your heart broken.
Yeah, you always say I'm never satisfied
But I don't think that's true
You say I'm never satisfied
But that's not me, it's you
'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough
But I don't think anything could ever be enough
For you, enough for you, oh-oh
No, nothing's enough for you
Time has passed and it's felt like years when it hasn't. But in the end I think one day I will have everything I wanted, be enough, and I think you'll never be able to be fully satisfied. Never truly have someone who is enough. It took me a long time to realize there was nothing I could do to change how you felt about me. Nothing I could do to change myself into someone who was enough for you.
But now I think I'm enough. I'm enough for myself and one day someone will treat me right and tell me I'm worth all the gold in the world. That I am enough.
And I feel bad you will never have that.

(Clearly I don't think Arthur is this type of person but it's like midnight where I am and I was listening to my sad playlist so I needed to write something. I took far to long on getting my latest Lando story out so this is like a double update. I got a new phone and I'm trying to learn how to use it and it's much bigger than my last one so it's a whole new typing process. Yes I write most of these on my phone. That's why there's probably mistakes and stuff. But I'll be updating more I promise it's just life has gotten stressful and in the way but I'm working hard to keep this passion project going. Thanks for sticking around)