Loving Alessandro

diciassette

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We waited for Alessandro's car to come out of valet and Pen singed around me. I held her hand as she twirled around my fingers.

"Ugh, I loove that- man! I wishh we both had." She stumbles. "Nevermind,"

She was always became a bit incoherent when she got drunk. I was at most tipsy but still egged on her funny behavior. Alessandro was so sober he had no fun in our stupid jokes.

"You barely knew the guy Pen," I patted her hair down. "Come on his car is here," I dragged her.

Alessandro stuck a wad of cash into the mans hand and received his keys. He got in and I brought Pen to the backseat.

"Sit- wif your b-boyfriend" Pen slurred. She began sleeping and I turned her body to lean on a side. "Go-go." She whispered.

I opened the passenger door while looking at Pen worried.

~

When we enter the house Pen bounces around. "Have fun you guys," she winks, "just don't wake me up." She bobbled off to her room while Alessandro and I head to our room.

"You know if you grew a stubble I might be able to warm up to the idea," I tease.

"Stop with the whole kissing thing." He groans and closes the door behind us. He seems slightly less joking and more tired.

He runs his hands through his hair and loosens his shirt buttons. His chest shows through as he enters his closet.

My liquid courage is completely gone but something in my bones burns to just hold his face. Just hold it come close and - I shake my head.

Mindlessly I walk towards the closet and peak into it, watching him pull on a cotton shirt. He sits on a round open ottoman and unties his shoes. Kicking them off he unbuckles his belt and I bolt in.

I can't stop my feet from walking towards him. I lean down and grab ahold of his face and run my fingers through his hair.

"Why are you teasing me again?" Alessandro's eyebrows look tense and annoyed.

I come closer and look between his eyes before pressing my lips ever so softly on his. He pulls away before I can deepen and shakes his head.

"You're drunk. Leave." He turns his head.

My hands pull back slightly and hold onto his shoulders. "I'm not, I had only two drinks. I can- just."

His head turns towards me and I lean in again. This time he leans in and we meet in the middle. My hands wrap around his neck and pulls my body. At that moment my heart races and I trace the collar on his soft shirt. He pulls me closer like I might slip away and I bring my legs to lean against the chair. He grabs my ass and pulls me on to his lap.

He pulls away and my breath comes out harsh and heavy.

"You should go," He pets a loose strand of hair.

I chew on my tender lips before saying, "I know I always pushed you away.. but-"

"Pushed me away? You reminded me everyday that I will never have you." He sighed.

"you never truly wanted me." I brought my hands to his face.

He took my hands before they could reach my face and he shook his head over and over. "don't say that."

"Look, I pushed you away because-"

"Because I fucking took you away. You have every right to resent me, kissing me isn't going to fix the fact that you're stuck here."

"I hated my home anyways. My da-"

"Stop making excuses! This is wrong in every-way, this is all for show, no attachments."

My heart beats for a second before being crushed like an overripe tomato.

"ok," I back off. "no attachments right." I swallow my thick saliva. I head to the bed.

Everything feels cold now. In his hands I felt so warm and sickly overwhelmed. Maybe it's better I don't grow attached. Hell, I might give Vincent a visit tomorrow morning.

I hear Killer thumb his tail against the feet of the bed and pull him with me. He's a big chunk so I pull him and hold him tight. He doesn't budge.

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