Church girl and di scammer

*Chapter 53*

Yanique's POV
Saturday
9:45 am

I get out of bed ,already having regrets about kick starting my day this early, perhaps I should get some more rest but I'll end up being late for my errands so I decide against it.

First I have to pee .

Again!

As I approach the bathroom the cold , tingling sensation underneath my feet reminds me that I need to buy bed slippers. I can't find my old ones and it is way too risking standing on the cold floor.

I mentally add that to the list of things I have planned for today.

When I'm finished peeing, I return to the bedroom where I find myself standing at the door not able to take a step further.

I stare at my empty bed, the pain inside my chest doesn't lessen no matter how much time has past. It's days like these that I can't help thinking about the small things I miss the most about having Lando around.

I feel my eyes getting teary so I do what I always do, get to work.Keeping busy helps to stay distracted long enough.

I clean the room and even though there isn't much to do in the other areas of the house , I still walk around and make sure things are looking good.

Still bottling up my tears , I make breakfast.
I'm having pancakes and eggs , while I listen to my new favorite gospel playlist. A song by Naomi Raine- I'll still bless you in the middle of the storm starts playing and A wave of sadness hits me , suddenly replacing the feeling of normalcy with familiar tears I've been crying over the past months.

It takes awhile before I realize I'm now kneeling on the floor ,hugging myself. I begin to weep , unable to hold back my emotions.

What if I've failed our child already?

I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I've robbed our child of a stable home with both parents present.

I don't know where I have went wrong in my relationship.

Is it because I didn't include God enough?

Because I got pregnant through fornication?

I begin to think about all the worldly things I've been partaking in, I can't see any other reason for my failure. Lord knows I've tried holding on for as long as I could but Lando and I weren't getting anywhere. It seemed as if the more we tried , the harder it became for us to understand each other.

Lando was the person who made me climb out of my shell but when he came along , there were days I pushed my beliefs aside so that I could understand him a little more and I'm not even trying to blame him but I would be lying if I said my life didn't change drastically since we reconnected.

I sob .

I didn't change him , he changed me and when the arguments got bad I was too scared to admit what the real problem was but now I see it vividly...we are from two different worlds.

I spend minutes on my knees, crying until I feel sorry for myself. I then find the little strength I have left to pick myself up from the floor and press on with my day.

That's the hardest thing about being an adult, no matter which state you are in, life continues and you have to show up.

12:01 pm

I should have been at the supermarket already, I hate doing things in a rush. I look at my reflection in the mirror one last time.

I'm dressed in my black body suit from fashion Nova, paired with my brown Gucci sandals and red Telfer bag.