Church girl and di scammer

*Chapter 51*

Yanique's POV

"Ten steps forward...nine steps backwards and we are right at the beginning all over again. Don't?" He scoffs, flickered with irritation.

I absolutely agree with him this time.I have ran out of ways to get through to him, I feel like I'm walking on broken glass trying to find the right words, the right approach even. So I remain silent ,too afraid that we might end up arguing again.

"Talk to me Yan! ... mi deh right ya suh and dis time yuh fucking silence will not cut it!" He slams his hand on top of the island , the sound startles me. My silence frustrates him, he tamp down his anger.

I take off my heels and attempt to walk to the room, he moves in front of me, locking me in.

I think reality has finally hit me when he wasn't even able to have dinner with me in a normal,relaxing and romantic way in public.I now realize the one word I've always been holding on to is 'normal ' because that is what I want and now I see I can't have it with him.

The type of arguments we have.

The stuff he does .

The moves he makes.

How people speak of him.

His paranoia!

Nothing is normal! .... It has been months and I haven't been able to fit myself into his life and now here I am carrying his child and I'm now suddenly succumbed to the reality of me never having anything near to a normal life with him.

Oh wow.

It took me this long , blinded by love that I have left my faith behind.

I start whimpering.

He backs away from me as if he feels like the monster causing me fear.

He holds his head.

"Fuck!....Fuuuuck!" He punches the wall several times.

I've never seen this much hurt in his eyes but what surprises me is the rage that consumes him.

Neither of us wants to be this unhappy, but where is it all coming from?

A few days ago I thought we were okay.

"Yanique wah mi can duh fi please yuh? Mi try every fucking ting! You want to move to Canada , eeeh? Is that it , duh it babe ... duh it ! ...." He pleads, his eyes like a firehouse as they pierce mine.

I feel like someone is drilling holes inside my heart, all I'm able to do is sob.

In a second , everything is crashing down. The only thing I'm able to see is our differences, everything that sets us apart.

Oh . My. God.

" You just want a way to leave me... is it what you saw in the files ?..because from that day you haven't been able to recover eeeh?" he has pushed my last button and all the walls I've built comes shattering down.

"I want a way to leave you?" I scold.

Unbelievable

"You offered me a deal to stay here out of your own selfishness so don't pretend as if I'm ungrateful! Or I don't want a life with you all of a sudden Lando!
This deal was offered before I even got pregnant then you try to blame this on having a family it's not as if your mind as suddenly changed....You are such a hypocrite to want to leave me here while you go on a trip to England , once again leaving me waiting in the dark!" I say in .............tears.

"I'm doing it for you! For us! Our child!" He barks and I step away from him.

"No ! I can bet any money you are doing it for the love of the streets! Since you are so big on family and I should set aside my dreams for our family , why can't you set aside your love for the streets and choose us! Instead we can't even go out and you aren't checking your surrounding every second as if someone is always watching you! Oh... I forgot I don't know shit about the things you do right ? So how will I know why you are so paranoid all the time"

Look at us, arguing once again like uncivilized people. We are already broken , I can't even pretend to keep it together anymore.

Is this what our child will see?

I feel sick ! Extremely disappointed that this is what it has come to.

He laughs , his laughter sounds like a mockery of me. I can't even sense the humor and it makes my blood boil.

What's so funny!

"This is bloodclaat ridiculous ! The love of the streets?What is in the fucking streets to love!!!! Mi a try buy mi way out Yanique , fix tings suh when mi lef mi know mi nuh owe nuh man nth! Mi a try pay mi dues... it's the only ting mi know fi duh babe... but right now yuh suh caught up , yuh not even realize" he exclaims.

Lando's POV

I pour myself some water to drink , she doesn't have any liquor in the fridge...I crave something stronger.

My throat is parched from all this arguing. We've clearly lost understanding for each other , that's if there was any to begin with.

"How would I know ! I'm always left in the dark" she sighs.

I want to tell her I was planning on having this discussion with her in a more civil way but the horse is already through the door.

She probably wouldn't even believe it at this point.

Can we have a redo of tonight, I would simply choose somewhere different for dinner. I know the hurt runs far deeper than this.

Obviously we na argue about the fucking dinner spot.

She has just had enough of me always leaving her in the dark and tonight just set off everything when I wasn't able to even relax for a fucking second. It made her question things , like why am I always watching over my shoulder , what am I hiding.

Knowing Yanique , she wants to hear me say the words even if she already has it figured out but I can't bring myself to doing that.

If not before then why now when she is pregnant?

For her to see the fucking demon she pick up!

Probably she even have flashbacks of what's on my files, maybe she even question what kind of father I'll be.

"I need a break from this relationship" her words cut me. I sense the detachment in her voice , the tiredness too.

The crushing sensation in my chest causes me to sit.

"If you leave here without giving me the full details of what you are going to do in England then that's it. I will not raised a child with a man I don't even know" she says in a dismissive manner then walks to her bedroom.

I close my eyes and calm my anger.

I spend the rest of the night in the couch not able to even sleep , my mind keeps replaying everything that has happened leading up to this.

From our first disagreement, the first time she saw me with a gun, the pain in her eyes when I left the house abruptly to go on a killing spree, the disappointment I caused when I pulled a gun on her best friend, the lies , and more lies.

I recap our conversations when we first started dating , her patterns.. I've really pulled her from what she stood for to a life filled with misery and uncertainty.

I never gave her reassurance, I gave her temporary coverage and all my proposals was out of my own selfishness not love . I guess I just always needed something to tie her to me when I felt like I wasn't good enough and she was close to seeing that.

I didn't come out of my comfort zone , instead I forced her into mine hoping she would adjust. She's a church girl for crying out loud , what could I expect? One day she just ready to forget all her teaching and accept this lifestyle!

Fucking selfish indeed

But still mi love her...that much is true.