One Last Try [HP Jamione fanfic]

62. Jump Then Fall

A/N: I cannot believe how close we are to the end!

14th September 1980

Hermione settled back into her bed, rearranging the covers and leaning back against the fluffed up pillows. She wasn't going to admit to James just how exhausted the trip to visit Regulus and Severus had made her, but it was worth it – it had been such a huge relief to see Regulus, injured yes, but alive and recovering. Neither of the ex-Slytherins had been surprised by her revelations, which she'd honestly expected – they were both very perceptive – but she had thought the time travel would have drawn some kind of surprised reaction from them.

James was sitting beside her bed cradling the sleeping Harry in his arms – a surreal view for Hermione. He'd returned from the forced trip home after lunch and a shower with the infant in tow, allowing Lily, Sirius, and Remus to take the opportunity to go home and get some proper sleep. They'd fallen into a comfortable silence after James had scolded her for leaving her bed when she was still weak.

"Do you regret it?" James had been quiet for a while, so his deep voice filling the room shocked Hermione from her reverie. "Coming back here I mean? You left family and friends behind, you said. So, do you?"

Hermione sighed, she'd not fully explained what had happened in the final battle before she'd been hit with the spell, or all of the losses the Order – and wider Magical community – had suffered up to 1998. Fabian and Gideon's guilt over surviving when they'd died in the original timeline, and the fact that their mother had died in their place – an unfortunate and uncontrollable result of fighting directly against the now dead dark wizard –, had convinced Hermione that that kind of information was better kept to herself. She couldn't hide from James though, not after everything they'd gone through together.

"Never." She gratefully grasped the large hand he immediately reached out for her when she extended hers. "James, I couldn't ever regret the life and decisions that led me to you. I didn't tell you everything, and what I'm about to tell you is too upsetting to go further than just us."

"I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." He carefully leant to the side and lay Harry down in the bassinet Lily had conjured for him before leaving. Then James leant forward and tucked a bouncy curl gently behind Hermione's ear with his now free hand. He cradled her face for a long moment in his warm palm, and Hermione soaked up the love in the gesture. She was so glad every fear she'd had over his possible rejection when she finally told him everything was unfounded.

"By the time the final battle came around, most of the Order was completely decimated." She started. "Dorcas, Regulus, Marlene, you, Lily, my brothers, your parents, my parents, Benjy, Caradoc, all of Edgar's family, and so many more were all killed in the first war. It ended, like I told you, in 1981." She hadn't told them about Harry's parentage and how he'd come to be targeted by Voldemort, and she never would. There were some things better left unsaid. "Most of the Death Eaters were caught and sent to Azkaban, though a lot escaped with the excuse of Imperius. I won't be letting that happen this time. By the time the final battle happened in 1998, so many people were dead. Sirius and Dumbledore both amongst the number. We were desperate to end everything before more died, but Voldemort was just as desperate to win."

James tightened his grip, and leant down to press a kiss to her hand in silent support. "I got hit with the spell that sent me back because I was distracted during the battle." Hermione admitted. A lot of her previous life felt fuzzy and faded with age, but the memories from those last few hours of that life were still sharp and cut deep when examined too closely. It had been a long time since she'd dwelled on it all so deeply. "We'd been fighting for hours, we were all exhausted. Harry had managed to defeat Voldemort, but he was killed trying to save Narcissa Malfoy. She'd saved his life earlier that night."