The Surrender

Chapter One - Memories

I wasn’t sure what I was doing there. All I knew is that I needed to be in that place in that time. I needed to see him one more time before he ran off. Things between us was a completely mess, we were fighting the whole time, for stupid things most of the time. I am devastated right now. What was I thinking?! I should‘t be here in my room staring at the ceiling wondering all the went wrong.

I stayed the whole time inside my car, watching him go away from me, to some place in England. He didn’t see me there, he was busy putting his bags on the car. I followed him until the airport. My friends are all saying “Let it go” “ He is not good enough for you” “You were right”…

I was so wrong, I'm still so wrong!

Here is the thing, we broke up 4 months ago, because as I mentioned we were fighting all the time, his family kept saying I wasn’t the right girl for him, they thought ( they still think) I never gave him the right value, which now I see is kind of true. While my family kept telling me to end everything because our relationship wasn’t going anywhere anyway. We had different ambitions in life, I once wanted to be a doctor but then I changed my mind and decided to be a designer like my mom. My dad is a plastic surgeon, a good one, at least is what people keep telling me. And my mom is quite famous in her job. Peter’s parents are both lawyers. He wants to be one too. Classic.

That’s why he decided to go to England, his parents told him to study there, at least for a year, to learn more, to have more experiences. He was on the sophomore year so all the teachers in our University agreed with the idea. I didn’t. I knew it was only to split us. He knew that as well. Our last fight was pretty bad, I am not the kind of person whom show my feelings to everyone, I don’t say “I love you” as much as I should. I was in love with Peter, but only in the middle of our last fight that I realized the depth of my feelings for him. I was sure I could live without him, because we never agreed on most of the things, so I assume is wasn’t meant to be, it was just I phase. I told him that on impulse and his face was on the ground. He told me he loved me but was still going to travel because he realized he would never be enough for me. I understood. I was a bitch, I confess.  

We stayed together for a year but it feels like more than just one. Looking back now I don’t know why he loved me and I believe that’s where my problems started. I never thought I deserved to be loved by him. I was a spoiled child, I have everything since I’m the only daughter my parents have.

Peter has one brother, a engineer who is already settled in life and happily married to a beautiful wife. Our history sounds so cliché. Boy meets girl. His family has money because they worked hard for all that money and the girl’s family has money as well because her family had money since always. They met and fall in love and their parents are against it. They broke up and everything is right in the world again. Ugh.

Peter got in an accident last year. A really bad one. Some stupid drunker was driving really fast and crash Peter’s car right on the middle. Brad, his best friend is also my friend, so he was with me the night the accident happened. Peter’s parents called him like 4 in the morning telling him about it and I drove him to the hospital because he was in shock. He did not say a world until we got to the ER.

Peter stayed in coma for a whole week, the doctors thought he was going to die, and if he woke up he would probably not be able to move his legs for a while. At least. It was so bad, I felt bad for a guy I never talked to in my whole life, I only used to saw him on the library. I always thought he was pretty, but the true is he was hot. He still is actually.

He has the kind of blue eyes the makes you lose your sense you know? It melts you, he is kind of pale, in a good way, he has that messed short blonde hair, an gold blonde hair and his smile…well that’s my favorite part of him, that and his rough voice. He used to play tennis so his body is really good, not so many muscles, but he is pretty tall like six feet and a half. He wasn’t my type at all. He was quite, has a small group of friends, is pretty focus in his studies, doesn’t drink too much and love country music. His nose is small like almost perfect(at least for me), with a small curvature above. He was always quiet which is why I never paid attention to him.

You see...I like to party, I was a cheerleader my whole life, and we live in Arizona so most of the guys are kind of tan, which I love. But when I started to pay attention to him, when I saw him on the bed of the hospital I realized how beautiful he was. And Brad always talked good things about him too, but always pointing that we were pretty different. So I only stayed there to give my friend some support, his family didn’t mind, I wasn’t dating him so I guess it was all good back then.

I stayed with Brad and Peter’s family every single day, until he was transferred to his own room, he was “safe”(according to the doctor) but wasn’t waking up. And then suddenly I was there, alone in the room with him waiting for Brad to get back from the cafeteria, his parents were working, it was 4:15pm and I was pretty tired. And then he waked up and I realize he was staring at me like “who the hell are you?”

I didn’t say a word, I only called the doctor, he got in, checked him and told me to wait with Peter. I didn’t know what to do or what to say, and I was freaking tired, I was not in the mood to talk. At all.

     -     How are you feeling? I needed to ask something right?

      -    I am good. A little dizzy I guess. How long have I slept?

      -   For a whole week I’m afraid.

       -  Seriously?

       - Yep, it was pretty bad.

      -    Really?  He had that smile on his face.

      -      Really.

     -     You are Sophie Hamilton right? Brad’s friend?

       -   Yes. Honestly all I wanted was to sleep for a couple minutes at least and he looked like someone who wanted to talk.

   -      Don’t you like to talk? And then he laughed again. Asshole.

   -     I do. Sorry, I am tired that’s all.

      -    I can see that. Why are you here? I mean, is not like you know me or anything.

       -   Brad was so worried. So we decided that Paula, James and I were going to stay at shifts with him. I know you are like a brother to him.  I gave him a little smile.

      -    Yes, he is. Thank you.

      -    You’re welcome.

       -   And my parents?

       -   Working, but they’ll be here soon.

    -     I see you every day at campus or in the library. Never could imagine the day I could finally talk to you would be in a hospital. With me on the bed.

Oh my God why is he laughing at me? I must look like crap right now, wearing blue sweatpants and my hair in a ponytail.

         - Yeah, no one could ever imagine that. Wait, you wanted to talk to me before??

He was about to answer me when Brad got inside almost crying of happiness with Peter’s parents right behind him. I gave him a small smile and he does the same and then I left to wait on the visitors room.

I couldn’t deny it, there was butterflies all over the place. And I don’t feel like this all the time, I am kind of a cold person I guess. But I have my reasons. 

A couple days passed and I started to accompany Brad in the Peter’s sessions of physiotherapy, he started to feel his legs again and was really a joy to watch his improves after all that suffer.

I am still lying on my bed wondering how I could ever let him go, and realizing I loved him already since the moment he waked on that hospital and smiled at me.