The Book Cafe (Elizabeth Olsen x female reader)

Chapter 19

(This chapter is almost 5000 words long. So get yourselves a snack and a comfortable spot to sit - Author)

Do you ever have that feeling that your body is working on auto-pilot, while your mind is completely elsewhere?

That's what my life has been like these past few days.

Ever since Lizzie basically ditched me, life has resumed in its usual way, but it does not feel the same.

The work at the café resumed the next morning and I've been putting on my usual smile to let everyone think all is well. I did have to tell the team that Lizzie left to go back to LA, which made me feel foolish since I told them that we were dating just the night before.

The only thing that keeps me distracted from my own mind is my rehearsal nights with Jessica. We've been practising every night for hours on end to make sure we memorize the songs.

It's the moment in the day that I actually enjoy. It also allows me to release the pent-up emotions in some way without risking other people getting concerned and asking questions.

Tonight is no different. It's the last night before our performance, so we're going through our entire set. I'm on the electric guitar and lead vocals, while Jessica is on the drums with and providing some backup vocals.

Some of these lyrics are a little too accurate for my current situation. I can't allow myself to think about the lyrics too much, or I'll probably start tearing up. And I'm not about to do that.

We get through the rehearsal pretty smoothly the first time and go through some of the songs that need a little more work.

We decide to take a break for a few minutes to drink some water.

"You know," Jessica starts. "You kind of sound like Miley Cyrus, but sexier." She says. I laugh out loud at her comment.

"I don't know, Miley already sounds pretty sexy."

"I know, but your voice sounds slightly darker. Or smokier. I don't know how to describe it. All I know is that the ladies will love it."

I shake my head as I never thought about my voice as being 'sexy'.

"That's not really something I think about, Jess" I tell her while drinking some of my water. "All I want is for tomorrow to go well."

"I know your mind is still set on one specific woman, so let's show her what she's missing out on" She offers while holding out her hand for me with a smile. I look at her and shake her hand.

The rest of the night is spent learning lyrics and practising her backup vocals. You know, she's not as bad as she claims at singing. Mainly her high notes are good, the rest is sometimes a little monotone, but we'll figure that out as we go.

When the time comes for me to go home, I feel a little dread. The nights at home are when I spend the most time overthinking.

I say goodbye to Jessica once she dropped me off and walk into the building and up to my apartment. I walk towards the bathroom and put on some music while stepping into the shower.

One new thing I started doing is singing in the shower. Loudly.

'Me and you mama' by Childish Gambino comes on, which really allows me to let go as I sing. I put my head underneath the shower and lower it slightly so the water hits my scalp while singing the words to the song.

Do what you want
I'm telling you
Let me into your heart

Can't stand it, backhanded
They wanna see us falling apart
You know that I love you
So let me into your heart