Kisses Of Crimson

Chpt. 7 - Lost The Hope

DAILY SONG CHOICE: K. - CIGARETTES AFTER SEX

TW; SELF HARM!!!
••••

It's been around a week since my brother has gone 'missing', and I felt myself losing hope - along with the great illness, depression.

Ive been feeling so down lately, not wanting to talk to anyone.

Even Robin.

I mean, he was the only one comforting me through this event, but at the same time, I didn't want him to see me like this.

I'm a complete mess at the moment.

I was currently skipping my favorite class. With andrew being gone, I didn't have anyone to vent to.

Again - I know I had Robin, and yeah, alright - we were close, but not close enough for me to tell him everything that I've had built up for ten to twelve years?

I was hiding in my favorite spot outside of the building, near the woods.

It was a small enclosed area, surrounded by a large amount of boulders and pretty bushes with pretty flowers.

This was a spot Andrew and I shared a few years ago, which was now shared by Robin and Finney.

I found it when Andrew and I were playing tag after his freshmen graduation, and I was just running around, then I found this place.

After I found the little cave, it became something for just him and I, but after my dad died, my mom was even more abusive than she already was before, making us always down and depressed.

After that, we rarely came here with one another.

Instead, I always brought Finney here after baseball games to stay away from our angry guardians, but of course - Robin had to tag along.

I obviously didn't like him at the time, but sometimes he would be fun to be around. That made me consider being nicer.

When we were there, we would just laugh, gossip about whatever we wanted, vented - not too much, we talked about almost everything, ate a bunch of snacks and played every card and board game there is to exist.

Back then, that would be the light of our day. It would be the best part.

But then, Finney and I just suddenly stopped talking.

And now, he and I only wave in the halls. Even Robin doesn't talk as much as he used to with him, and it's kind of like we switched it around.

Now Robin and I were best friends.

A little more than best friends.

Robin's POV:

Y/n has been skipping classes a little too frequently, which has affected her grades deeply - also making me severely concerned for her.

Ever since I met her, she's been a straight A student, and now .. she's dropped down to C's and D's - I'm worried she's gonna totally bomb everything else and fail.

I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, starting to roam the hallway looking for her.

I needed to help catch her up and get her back on track.

I know what happened to her brother is tragic, especially now that he's been reported dead and that Y/n is refusing it - she still needs to look out for herself, no matter what.

If she won't take care of herself, then I will. I will fill that roll for her and make sure she gets what she needs.

If she does ever need a small break, I'll be there for her and help her back up after the grave fall, but that break can't last forever.

I was close to giving up after a while, but a small memory ran through my mind swiftly.

I immediately rush out of the school, heading to the back of the brick building, and into the woods.

There could be a change she was back there.

We rarely met there anymore, but when we needed comfort or alone time, we'd always end up back there.

I stroll past the trees and bushes until I meet the familiar stone wall.

Right before me was a distressed Y/n, sobbing into her hands, curled up in a ball.

I frown, slowly approaching her and letting her acknowledge me.

As I get closer, I notice a couple of fresh cuts planted on her wrist.

I felt a shocking pain rush to my heart seeing that.

My poor girl.

"Would you like to talk?" I mumble.

Her head bolted up, looking at me with blood shot and teary eyes. It pained me to see her so upset.

I mean who could blame her?

She tries to hide her swollen eyes, looking away into the trees in front of her.

"Look at me, y/n."

She doesn't.

"You're not so good at listening, are you?" I softly chuckle, sitting beside her in the crunchy leaves.

I look over at her, watching her rub her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Y/n." I apologize, feeling complete sorrow for her.

"For what? You didn't do anything." Her voice monotones.

I sigh, taking in a breath. "Doesn't matter. I just wish I could take all of this sadness and anger away from you and replace it with happiness."

The silence was loud when I looked back over to her wrist, observing the small open wounds.

It was way darker than any blood I've ever seen, and trust me - I've been in quite a few fights.

I take her wrist, placing it on my lap.

I placed my thumb over them, gently stroking the slits that were dug into her skin.

"Don't hurt yourself, Mi Amor." I glance at her face, it being shocked that I knew she purposely hurt herself.

"You need to stop with this. You're worth so much more, okay? I know this isn't the first time you've done this. Make sure you're taking care of yourself. What I mean- is.. don't be mean to yourself." I assure her.

It was quiet for a moment until she spoke swiftly.

"Thank you, Robin." She smiles quickly.

"Anytime, Mi ángel." I lift my arm up, along with my hand and wrapped it around her torso, stroking her hair.

She leans beside me while sitting down.

She let herself rest, falling asleep in my shoulder.

I felt calm knowing she trusted me enough to protect her.

I loved her so much.

I just wish she wouldn't hurt herself.

_____________________

A/N - this was cute but sad. BUT EVERYONE - if you are struggling with
self harm or suicidal thoughts, please consider to contact these numbers below for help;

SMS / Overall Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988

(Mental Breakdowns) - (855) 845-7415

(Crisis Counselor) - 741741

(Virtual Therapy) - 1-855-845-7415

(In Distress) - 1-800-273-8255 / 988

I love you all and I hope you are all doing okay. If you ever need to talk, feel free to ask for my snap or number, or anywhere you'd like to vent.

1137 words <3