ORANGE LIFE. (Book 1.)

1.Lights 💡?

A picture of Victoria in a pretty outfit.

Victoria :

They say there's light after the darkness.
Sunrise after the night.
Joy coming after weeping.
But do all this just come?
Are we the source of our light after the darkness? Do we have to make the stormy day calmer? This were my thoughts as I opened my windows to reveal the sunrise.

It was a new day. Bright with beautiful vigor, rays of hope everywhere, inspiring in all dimensions but that was not for me.
Not to me and would never be to me. I like to think that a new day meant a new slate but most times, those were just a lie to myself, the new slate was for me to either make my day/week/month/year appealing, the sins of the past still continues, never to be forgotten.

But? Yes, as a human I would compromise and instead pretend about the sins of yesterday and instead start afresh.
It's an early September morning, I should be up for school and all that but my strength was failing me and my stomach was knotting at the feeling of fear of the unknown. I don't like to face unknown circumstances, unknown people or unknown environment. I had severe anxiety and it was just at its zenith this morning and I don't know why.

Maybe I should talk to my aunt about the way I was feeling about school this morning, I adjusted my hair bonnet and washed my face with apricot cleanser, the smell was so good and euphoric that it made me more sick.

Auntie Yemi and mom had gone to this new school of mine and registered me, told the proprietor about the things that happened in Abuja that I didn't want to remember this early morning or want anyone here to say anything about it.

But it is true, in my mother's words, "we had lengthy discussion on what to do about your juvenile delinquency and miscellanies." Off course they were big grammatical descriptions of me being a child with chronic depression and having a yo-yo anxiety attack. But it didn't stop the effect of what she had told the man/woman.

Normally, all Nigerians would offer someone who had any issues that looked like it could be solved with being there for the person, money or looked too piqued to not be spiritual would be to run to God or go to a big popular church and that was exactly where Mom was referred to, in Mother's words again, "she gave him a look of disdain and disgust." I almost laughed at what she said but I didn't, maybe she
Should learn from that a little?

But I'm faced with reality now that maybe this school would not be like my previous school and I might not meet a boy like Dotun again or
Ever fall in love and I didn't want to even think about my Ex or go into those days.  Imagine how the times you spent with someone who genuinely made you smile would now be referred to as those days. So crazy!

I slipped on the eye blinding white button down, long sleeved shirt and buttoned it voraciously, slipped on the the high waisted skirt that was flared from the waist to the knee. I tucked in the shirt and zipped the zipper which was by the side. Slipped on the socks that got to my heels and wore my black Jordan 1's .They were my favorite shoes and I had to first get to this school and see the state of shoes before I decide if I was going to be wearing Doc martins or boots.

I admired myself in the full length mirror and I decided that today I looked absolutely fetching and that was probably because of my cornrows. I unplugged my phone and took my AirPod case from on top the bedside table, I was turn in between taking my headphones or my AirPods. Deciding that maybe devices were probably illegal in the school and might be seized, I decided to take my AirPod that was smaller and was easier to hide with me.

My uniform was modest and was a little on the unattractive side, reason I felt it was unattractive was about the color, it was a drab combination. Black and white only looked good when you were pairing a black Motorbike graphic Tee with a white skirt or jean then your black Jordan's to match or vice versa.