Because of you

Chapter 13

Rated 18, skip for your own good

"Beautiful as ever"

Her cherry chopstick lips felt like cotton pressed over me, claiming my mouth as if it was hers, to begin with, is all I can think of. Her beer-flavored tongue swirled and licked every corner, I couldn't help but draw mine closer and dance with it. In every flick and thrust, I was shivering, alcohol never tasted this good. I was lost in her kisses, I didn't realize how we manage to reach the room, mine to be exact, the scent coming from the air purifier made me conclude. 

I never once imagine how good it is to have her hands caressing my back, her fingers tracing my skin, she kisses me as if it was the only thing she knows best. It was not gentle, not rough, not fast, not forceful, it has the right amount of emotions. Like she has been waiting for this, it seems surreal that she couldn't differentiate reality from dreams. I won't blame her, because we were the same. 

How naive I am not being able to do this when I had all the chances, why the courage came out just now? Do I need to see her with someone else before accepting that I do want this, I dream for this, I yearn for this? I heard the door shut and locked. My eyes closed but imagining her before me, was enough to burn the sensation. I gasp for air when she detached her lips from mine, I missed it, but I took the thought back when she suck on my pulse. 

I released an unintentional whimper when her tongue runs up, the icky feeling of the muscle was ticklish. I was holding onto her shoulders for my dear life, as I felt my knees weaken as time goes by. I was near to passing out when her pelvis bumped on mine, the roughness of her jeans was teasing what was underneath my black dress. I suddenly want to feel her, whole.

There were no talks that occur, and none of us were able to utter a word, it was the sloppy sounds of the kissing and the tearing fabric that distracted us. I was oblivious not to notice that she was already on top of me, as I lay on the mattress. Though I would not forget how soft she hold and placed me. Her lips found mine again, and all I could do is to welcome it. 

When she went south, my eyes fluttered open, and see her damping pecks on my collar, the image of my best friend and all the years we had to spend together flashed through my head. I froze, a tear escaped and I moved away from her. Questions and understanding battled on her face, I could see her hurt, and sorry. "Lisa..." I called. She looks deeply into me. 

"What are we doing?" I sobbed, covering my face with my hands, I was ashamed, she was like a younger sibling to me...or...I 

Her presence invaded my space, as her skin melted on my cheeks. "I don't know either..." she murmured, her thumb wiping the tears.

I opened my eyes and met her, hers was doe and alive. As if you can travel the universe by staring at it. You could get lost, you could disappear. There's so much theyto  hold. My stomach churn when her hands imprison my face. What are you doing to me?

"I always dream of holding you this close. I have you by my side, yet you feel so far away. What can I do have you forever." I pray that she was drunk. I wish she was only playing with me. But she was not, because I could feel the comfort of her touch.

"I...I love you Jisoo. For so long. I don't know when it exactly started, but I love you. Not as your best friend. But a person who complete devotes herself to you. Who accepts the real and whole you."

Her confession had burned my sanity, and decay. I launched my lips on her awaiting ones. And she didn't wait any longer to claim me again. I did not care what we did after, I just want to be in the moment. Under her, in my nakedness.

She was careful, as if a was a painting on a museum she wasn't supposed to touch. Her eyes watching me as she removes her own clothes. The air should have made us feel cold, but it was the opposite.

"Hmm" I moaned, when she printed her lips on my chest. I was never been touch like this, like her. My hands finds it's way on her hair. I have my mouth dry when I felt her on my legs.

"Beautiful as ever..." my cheeks went flush as she admires me. I should have been embarrassed, however I lost the chance to be when her mouth dived into my core. My mind was in a blank state. I kept calling her name, and she was the one worshiping me. 

The scene of her owning me was enough to make me derange. The image of her will be tattooed. On my skin, in my mind, in my heart. "I'm close." I muttered in a deep breath, and our contact vanishes for short while.

When I had my eyes open, she was facing me. A small and grateful smile. I know she wanted something more. Something that I wanted too. Though I can sense she was holding back.

"I...do you want to continue?" this feeling was both new to us. All the things on our lives was disregard. To my pleasure, my fingers were on her back, doing circling motions.

"hm?" I hummed in response, her noses bopped on mine, she smiled through the eskimo kiss.

"I don't know what's the future hold after this." It must be the alcohol. It should be the alcohol. Because if I were to be honest. I don't know where the bravery came from.

"Forget about the future. We have each other tonight..." she whispered and tugged my lower lip.

"Then take me." now she was statued. Her eyes bore, emotions splitting between them. "I can't promise anything after this. I'm not sure of everything. But I want you, I want to feel you." I rested my forehead on hers. She smiled and nodded, when she positioned before me. I was scared, I was unsure. Then I saw her contemplating too.

"It will be our first time..." there was that uneasy feeling. Although at this time I felt it was normal. "It will hurt..." she reminded me. I just gave her a timid beam. She adjusted herself and lay on top of me, her arms supported her.

She looks deeply unto me before I felt my womanhood being torn. She notices the grimace on my face. Had mt eyes shut, teeth biting my lip, nails digging on her back. She stopped.

"Do you want me to stop, I'm sorry." she pecked my temple. I shook my head and told her to continue.

She moved once more, breaking the barriers between us. We both sighed heavily. Lisa's chest was crimson, and I was lost of track. She retreated, but not fully, and came back again. She did it gradually. Making me feel loved, and safe.

"Lisa..." it was painful at first minutes, I didn't count how long. I'm aware of where could I end. When I became more used to is, that's when it took me to a whole new world.

"ugh" I moaned beside her ear. My teeth, marking her shoulders as she moves us back and forth. Our sweats mixing, our friendship on the line.

"Jisoo..." she weakly said. I was dozing off and she was too, as both of us reaches our peak. "I love you."

I wish I could say the same...