Awkward Meet Normal

Chapter One:

Annabelle:

I am that awkward girl.

The one who friend zones herself with every known man. It had been like this my whole life.

See, cute boy... do something irrational and over the top.

I gained their attention but not the type of attention I wanted most of the time.

At one point in my life, I could not look anyone in the eyes; I did not trust myself with my own words or actions. That in itself was embarrassing. Thankfully, I had outgrown the no direct eye contact thing. It just took a bit.

Twenty-six years old, graduated from college, held a prestigious job and I had never outgrew being me.

For example, I was in the running for holding the record for being a woman groomsman.

I would be attending my sixth wedding as a groomsman. Usually, I wore a dress, the same color as the tuxes. My hair pulled back into a tight updo.

Except for this time, Kyle, one of my good friends, wanted me to wear a ladies' tux. For the most part, the tux fit well, and it showed my curves. It could have been worse, and I could have looked like a boy. But...

Everything about it screamed "awkward."

Kyle loved the outfit. "Dude," he cracked up after I stepped out of the bridesmaid's room and strolled to the guy's room. "Epic," Kyle said. It was the one thing he could pick out for the wedding, my outfit.

Kyle's fiance was ok with the idea since she was a raging hard-core feminist. She had specialized her license plate to say FEMI on it. I was her way of showing the world that a woman could do anything, be anything: including being a groomsman at her wedding.

When I accepted Kyle's invitation to stand next to him and his five other groomsmen, she posted a lengthy post on all of her social media.

Kyle apologized the next time he saw me, and I shrugged it off.

Awkward things just happened to me. 

"This is a real issue. I'm constantly friend-zoned." The week before, I had told Veronica, one of my friends from high school who lived six states away from me. 

Not that I liked Kyle that way, but most guys I met became my friend. When Harry Met Sally said guys and girls could not just be friends, I was the living proof that movie was wrong. So wrong.

"No. A real issue would be not having food to eat every night. What is going on for you is something that is easily fixed. Just quit being you." This was typical, Veronica. If I came back the next week with another problem, she would say that an autoimmune disease was a problem.

But my problem, my problem was just another girl looking for attention. She was always blunt and to the point.

She continued, "You don't hear me complaining about how I'm running on one hour of sleep, and my damn baby won't take my teet." This was Veronica's way of complaining and pointing out that her life, the mother's life of three kids, was hard as hell.

I told her I had a call from the main office and clicked off. It would be a while until I called her again.

"Just quit being you." Her words rang in my ears. I tried following that before. It was hard to rewire how your brain worked.

So here I was a couple of days later, walking down the aisle yet again for another wedding.

I was the "girl" friend that every guy wanted.

I knew too much about sports, was a die-hard March Madness fanatic, and watched NFL games no matter the team for fun.

I was a dude wrapped up in a woman's body. I had more guy friends than I could count. Many of them were shallow and superficial, but I had realized that most guys' friendship was shallow and superficial.