The ignorance that led to you

11.friends

Lara POV

I'm ignoring everyone online and on socialmedia, which has become the norm since a few weeks ago. It's just tiring to be so available all the time and I feel like a piece off shit for ignoring everyone, and I think they're going to hate me.

And school is fucking me in the ass, I've got three tests tomorrow and am currently making one. I just want to go home, I'm tired and feel like I'm collapsing onto myself with the debris choking me and replacing the oxygen around me with my own ashes as I watch myself burn.

I give the half-finished test to the teacher while asking her if I could go to the secretary with a trembling voice, she asks me if I'm feeling alright but I didn't answer, she then asks the class if someone who's done with their test could accompany me to the secretary. I get my stuff and leave with Liam who asked to come.
While walking down the stairs I feel the tears and can't stop them so I decide to sit down and just let it out.

Liam POV

I went with Lara to the secretary because I thought we were going to just talk on the way there, she randomly sits down on the stairs and starts crying, I don't know what to do, I try thinking of things I could say but nothing comes to mind. In the end I decide to ask whats wrong.

"Hey, what's wrong?"
"I feel like shit"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I feel like shit" lara now looks at me with tears still falling down her cheeks
"Well, ehm"
"You don't have to say something to try and make me feel better, I just feel like everybody hates me and I feel like I'm disappointing everyone with my grades, I'm scared that if my parents find out I'm actually gay they'll hate me, I'm to scared to even watch gay shows or series at home because of the fear that consumes me with just the thought of the look in their eyes. So nothing you'll say will make me feel better so just sit down and hug me."
I just sit next to her and hug her while she quietly sobs.

The bell then rings and students start coming down, we quickly stand up and act like we're going to our next class like them, I finally drop Lara off at the secretary and go to class.

Lara POV

I entered the car and mom asked me if something was wrong, I felt this lump in my throat and couldn't answer so I just looked out the window, mom then started the car and went home.
When we arrived I got my bag and went straight to my room and just started crying.

15:50-missed call(s) from Celine (4)

*Celine's calling*

Ugh fine, I breathe in and out slowly trying to calm myself down and answer the phone.

"Lara are you okay?"
"Yeah...I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine."
"Celine just, please"
"Fine, just don't do anything stupid"
"Hm?"
"You know what I'm talking about."
"Oh, yeah, I won't "
"Lara, I swear to God if I hear or see that you s3lfharmed I'm going to almost drown you."
"Yea yea, I know that and I promise I didn't and I wont."
"Good."
"Oh. Also how is the couple?" I say trying to change the subject.
"They're worried because they don't know this sad Lara who has mental breakdowns and cries."
"..."
"Anyways I'm coming over tomorrow"
"Why"
"Because why not"
"Sure I'll ask mom"
"No need :)"
"What do you mean?"
"I already talked with her"
"Since when do you have her number?"
"Since I fucked your mom"
"No but really since when do you have her number?"
"Remember when you were at boardingschool and your phone died but you had to call your mom? Yea you called her on my phone"
"Damn"
"Anyways got to go, baibai"
"Byee"