Tango In The Night Part 1: Big Love

I Would Take You In The Darkness

Hollywood Hills, California
Sunday, May 24, 1987
(11:00 pm)
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"I don't think it's going to work out. She's not cut out for this stuff."

Stevie and Lindsey were sitting on her green velvet sofa, ignoring the television as it played the episode of I Love Lucy in which Lucy misses the ship to her European tour and must rejoin the others by helicopter. Lindsey had made blueberry pancakes in the kitchen while Stevie had stayed upstairs and made herself more comfortable - washing off the makeup she'd smeared with tears, and changing into lounging clothes, which included black leggings, a pair of fluffy white socks, and an oversized t-shirt with sleeves cuffed almost to the shoulders that was patterned like newsprint. She had also taken the tangle of long blonde curls out of the clip that was barely hanging onto her head after her time mushed into the pillow and in Lindsey's arms, and she'd come down to the kitchen looking fresh and clean and much younger than thirty-nine, which she would be turning on Tuesday. Now they were sitting together and talking about Kelly Johnston, her friend who'd been working as her personal assistant, and the fact that she'd been considering asking Kelly's sister Karen if she'd like the job instead.

"I don't think there's any harm in changing it up if she's not right for the job," Lindsey agreed. "She'll understand. And if it's how you tell me it is, she's looking for an out anyway."

"You're probably right," said Stevie. "Kelly told me she'd send Karen in her place to watch the dogs if I decide to go out on Tuesday for my birthday, so when I speak to Karen and tell her I don't need anyone for the dogs, I'll ask her about the job, and..."

Lindsey interrupted with, "Wait...Stevie...you don't have plans for your birthday?" He looked hurt, like it was his birthday there were no plans for.

"I mean, my mother will call me and tell me the story of my birth for the thirty-ninth consecutive time and then put my dad on the phone, and maybe I'll get out of the house and drag myself over to the Beverly Center to look for some new pajamas...but yeah, that's about it."

"My God, Stevie, that's..." He shook is head in disbelief. "No one invited you out for your birthday?"

"Who's going to do that, Lindsey?" She folded her arms defiantly. "My parents are in Arizona, Chris and Lori are out of town on some little couples' beach thing in Jamaica or something like that...Waddy's got sessions booked in San Francisco, Tom's on tour...and Mick's got his nostrils stuck to a mirror all the time and that's dangerous for me to be around so early on into my recovery, you know, so..." She sighed, signaling the end of her list of possibilities. "That's that. In her defense, Christine did serve me lunch today...I left before cake because I found out what I found out about you telling her our little secret."

"Stevie..." He moved closer to her on the sofa, leaning into her every time she backed away until they had shifted couch cushions entirely. "Why didn't you tell me? We could have done something...whatever you wanted to do!"

"Why, Lindsey? So you could call Christine as soon as you got home to tell her everything?" She realized the vitriol with which that had come out of her mouth as soon as it was said, and she watched Lindsey's eyes as he took in her words and almost winced. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean that."

"You did mean it...but it's okay." His hand dropped to her thigh. She felt the warmth of his touch through the spandex of her leggings and into her skin down to her soul. "I'm sorry. I didn't set out to tell Christine, you know. I was just so scared for you, and she got me in a weak moment...and I confessed because..." He trailed off, unable to explain it to her because he couldn't explain it to himself.