Tango In The Night Part 1: Big Love

So I'll Settle For One Day To Believe In You

***ANGST ALERT!!! I repeat! ANGST ALERT!!!***

Hollywood Hills, California
Wednesday, May 27, 1987
(12:45 am)
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"I swear to God, Mick, something's got to give."

Stevie was curled up in a corner of the couch, her big black skirt hiding the lower half of her body, holding her coffee mug in both hands as she lifted it to her lips for a sip. Mick was a little bit more in his right frame of mind now, a cup and a half of coffee in, and he was nodding here and there as Stevie told him that he was out of control.

"That's what Sara says. That's what Christine says. The only person who hasn't read me the riot act is John."

"That's because he's an alcoholic, sweetie." Stevie looked at him with absolutely no humor in her expression "Look, I am not one of those sober people who try to make everyone sober too...hell, I'm not even sober! I still drink, still smoke pot...and people can say what they want but I was never an alcoholic, and a little bit of pot puts me to sleep and gets me to calm myself down at night...so I don't need to touch the stuff that was killing me...the stuff that's killing you, honey! Hell, even Barbara's been worried about you! She called me the other day and it was almost all she could talk about! And listen, my mother is no prude...she has to really know something is wrong before she gives her opinion."

"Jenny called and gave me the same speech as you when I told her I wasn't going to be in England for Lucy's birthday," Mick confessed. "Stevie, look at me." Mick held his coffee mug in his lap. "Am I a terrible father?"

"No, but you can be," Stevie answered honestly. "Look, we've all been up to no good for the past few years. I remember this one day I went to see Robin a few years ago when she was getting treatment..." Stevie trailed off, seeing the bright blue eyes of her best friend who'd been gone nearly five years. "I was high off my face, and she called me on it! She kicked me out and told me not to come back to a place where everyone was dying until I stopped killing myself. I got pissed off at her then - hell, I was high because I couldn't be there, watching her die! I told Kim that, too. But honey, she was right. I was a mess, and I was creating messes for others wherever I went. God knows I egged Joe on in my way...and he egged me on too...Jimmy tried to tell me, J.D. tried to tell me, Tom...but I had to tell me! I wasn't ready to hear it. And then, one day...I heard it. I was ready."

"I'm not ready, Stevie," Mick said, looking her in the eye. "I will be...I'm just not yet."

Stevie set her coffee down on the coffee table, then reached for his and did the same. She took both of his hands in hers. "Listen to me, Michael Fleetwood Jr.," she said, staring into his searching blue eyes. "I love you. I'm not talking about '77 and '78, either...I'm not talking about what happened in Australia and New Zealand, Hawaii...I'm talking about what happened in '75, in a studio in L.A., when I started hanging out with an awesome guy named Mick Fleetwood who was an amazing drummer, a great friend, a loving dad to two beautiful little girls, a man who loved his wife, who never made excuses or showed up at a friend's house to complain about shit that was his own damn fault. You are a great person, Mick, all bullshit aside...and this isn't you." She watched him look down into his lap and said, "Hey...you know that guy I fell in love with in Hawaii who used to scoop me up and toss me into the infinity pool, who laughed and hugged me when I told him he was The Beast because of his costumes and used to bring me coffee in bed in the rented bungalow on the beach?" He nodded. "He's in there, sweetie. I miss him. Sara misses him. When you're ready, I'll be here to help you find him."

Mick's eyes were filled with tears as he smiled and said, "I love you too, kid. I'm going to take you up on that...just not today."

"I accept that. I accept you. Just...prove me right, okay?" She smiled at him. "Prove me right and we'll all be okay again and this bullshit will just be a weird, fucked-up chapter in our lives."