Perfect Screw Ups | Quackbur

Chapter Twenty

I had put a lot of my newfound time into playing my guitar. I found it to be an excellent past time. I'd begun to lose myself in this hobby, just like how it used to be.

I forgot how good it felt to be passionate about something. Quackity said something about passion once.

"Then keep loving it, own it. You've got a future ahead of you so long as you pursue it." (Chp. 6)

I wanted to keep loving this. I wanted a future, so I was going to pursue it.

I've been writing songs as of late. I'm not sure if they're good songs exactly, but they're something. Something is better than nothing. A somebody is better than a nobody. I've lived by this for so long but for some reason it had never before occurred to me that I wasn't destined to remain a nobody.

I am somebody. But now I wanted to make myself somebody worthwhile. I decided that I wasn't going to let myself sit back and sulk. Sally hurt me, but I think all along I had known that we weren't meant to be.

Sally is pursuing a life of betterment. I wish the same for myself. I'm going to get better.
I gathered the blades I kept hidden away and I threw them out. It felt kind of liberating.

It's hard. It's really fucking hard to stop doing something that had consumed your entire being. It's hard to bite back the urge of something you had given in to countless times.

But I was going to try. You can recover. Anybody is capable of recovery, you just need to try. That is, of course, far easier said than done. But recovery is not going to be easy. It's going to be a shit show of a rollercoaster, but it's possible.

I had spent so much of my life looking down. But why should I look down when there is a world of possibilities above? Why remain fixated on the soot beneath your feet when there's a blizzard of stars just one upturn away?

I even got a gig already! I'm going to be performing at a Café for the first time since my band had, well, disbanded. My band and I went seperate ways and there was no point in trying to reconnect with them. Music is my thing now. I'm going to write for me and I'm going to share it with the world.

I played for Quackity and he said that he loved it.

Quackity.

My heart and my brain was in a constant game of tug of war when it came to him.
My heart wants him but my brain tells me than I cannot have him.

Quackity and I have been working together on sobering up. Late at night we go for long walks and we just talk. This helps replace the time we would've spent on smoking, drinking, or cutting.

We had gotten so close over the past few months that I felt like maybe happiness wasn't so unachievable. My gig is tonight, and after that Quackity said he had some place he wanted to take me.

My exuberance is uncontainable. I feel like every fiber of my being is buzzing with elation. I hope that my gig goes well; I fear that a poor audience reaction may tamper with my mood, thus spoiling the night planned with Quackity.

I prepared a rather nice outfit for tonight as well, trying to really make the most of this fortuitous opportunity. Now all I had to do was wait.

__________

My nerves were bustling and my heart was pounding. I couldn't stop tapping my foot and pinching my cheek, a habit I picked up to counter-attack my anxiety.

"You're nervous," Quackity stated plainly.

"That is a drastic understatement."

"Fine then. Give me a witty synonym for nervous, oh wise one."

"Disquieted."

"That's a ridiculous word."

"Not ridiculous at all, I think it's magnificent."

Quackity tittered and smiled. "Alright then. Put your disquietude aside and look at the bigger picture. You landed yourself a gig. You have a gift, Will. You're going to write amazing songs and you're going to share them with the world; you'll show them how amazing you really are. You're somebody, Wilbur. You're somebody amazing."

My heart throbbed and I felt as though I could just melt into a puddle of tears in that instant. But just then my name was announced on the mic.

I sucked in a breath and Quackity hugged me for good luck before I was quickly ushered onto the small stage at the front of the Cafe. The cafe had open mic nights, today being one of those nights.

My heart was drumming against my ears and my palms felt too sweaty. My eyes scanned the audience. They were hardly paying me any mind. Most, if not all of them, were fixated on their own things.

Even so, I still strapped my guitar around me and then tapped on the mic.

"Uh, hello?"

I mentally berated myself. My voice was so shaky and awful. A few people looked up to me. Others whispered to each other with wicked smiles across their face.

I felt my heart plummeting to my stomach. This was a terrible idea. I should just walk off the stage now and save myself the embarrassment. I was honestly considering this option when I looked across the room to the table that Quackity was now seated at. He gave me a thumbs up and flashed me his goofy grin.

I couldn't help but smile back. My nerves calmed ever so slightly.

"This song. . ," I started, exhaling a shaky breath to compose myself further, "this song is particularly special to me. .it's called Jubilee Line. I wrote this song a few months ago. It took a while to compose and well--. .I guess I'll just play it."

I breathed in and then out before committing to playing the piece. My fingers plucked the strings fiercely, and I strummed with determination. I sang with every disastrous emotion pouring out of me. I lost myself in this song and I basked in this wondrous and refound feeling. I forgot how amazing it felt to play and to sing in front of a crowd.

Once I had finished playing I found that the entire audience was watching me intently. Once I had finished I panted and grabbed the mic. "Thank you everyone."

A roaring applause ensued. I smiled and walked off the stage. Quackity soon ran behind stage with me and was smiling, his eyes glistening.

"That was spectacular, Will! You're so amazing! I'm so proud of you!!"

He was laughing with glee and before I could respond he scooped me up and spun me around.

I giggled. "What are you doing?"

"Ahh!! I'm so happy for you I just wanna--"

He cut himself off, his face suddenly flushing.

I stared at him with a raised brow. "Want to what?"

He shook his head. "I wanna hug you is all."

He put me down and crushed me in his arms.

"Agh! Okay, okay! Enough smothering me already!" I laughed.

"Fine then, how about we go to that place I told you about?"

I nodded. "Sounds good to me."

A/N: I'm going to try my best to wrap this story up within 3-4 more chapters. After that I might honestly delete my account LMAO but i want to at least finish this story since this seems to be my most favored story. Thank u to everyone that read my stories and tysm for all the comments and support :)) although I sort of detest my work, I'm grateful that I got to share my passion for writing with this community! It was fun while it lasted <3 I'll be working on chapters more frequently now as I wrap this up :D