the Ring{stuck in twilight}

angst

I looked through the window seeing the dark forest blurring to dark green from the speed. I sighed almost saying goodbye to this. More like , saying goodbye to the Cullen. To the ride in the big jeep driven by Emmett.

Emmett who said nothing to me all ride long. Edward and Bella drove home before me. I insisted on staying till Jasper came back and it took a while.

He didn't want to talk to me. I ignored his wishes and insisted but he is a fast vampire who i can't keep up with so I gave up.

Emmett offered to give me a ride and he haven't spoken to me too.

" that was a party to remember " I started joking. I wanted to allow him to get back to his old energy but he didn't

" it was going to become your funeral " he replied seriously. I looked at him shocked. He absolutely went Edward on me.

" well, slip up happens. Humans face death almost everyday. Women face it double than that " I retorted

Emmett sighed " we thought we can fit in.  We thought we are capable of not harming humans. Especially the ones that are dear to us. But it seems like we are failing at that twice and horribly" he sighed. His usual booming and cheerful voice disappeared. It's more scary when a cheerful person turns serious.
I looked at his face lit by the head lights and the dim lights of the stereo.

My heart sank.
I couldn't stop my tears from falling as the abandonment issues recognized the pattern.

I knew Edward is leaving. He most likely decided that right now. But I thought Emmett will try to resist this. Even try to promise me that we will stay in contact.

But now, I'm not so sure. Maybe it's all true.  Maybe I mean nothing to them but a passing fun time in their long eternal life. Im not Bella. This is not my story it's hers. I don't belong here and being part of her story is all I can have.

Pure accident that I am here. Why do I feel like I have some sort of right to have someone here. To have people that wants me here. Especially the Cullens.

I guess being a fan of the books always comes with" I want that too" I want a good father, a good mental health. No body dysmorphia. A body to die for and an adventure that makes you feel alive.
A love story with supernatural creatures. Being important enough that people try to save you. Lie for you. Love you.

The jeep stopped and I didn't notice it. I dissociated for the first time being here. " I should get back now" Emmett spoke softly. He looked distorted. Was it sadness? Or discomfort ?

I nodded, looking down " umm may I ask for something " my voice cracked.
He nodded slowly looking at my soul with his now dark eyes.

" can I get a hug ? Please "
He moved slowly to me. Buckling my belt off.

His giant body engulfed me in a warm hug despite his cool body. He lifted my body up carefully and made me straddle him as I clung to him with all of my strength. My tears falling down freely.

" I'll miss you. All of you" I spoke before I could think. And let him go, stumbling my way out of the jeep. Emmett didn't leave his seat to help me out this time. He didn't laugh at me, didn't call me a baby duck. Didn't look my way.

He just ... left.