Endless Road (Wattys 2015)

Chapter Thirty One

Chapter Thirty One

30th November, 2019

       As I served his plate, Ajay said, "Aren't you going to eat?"

       "I already had dinner."

       "Oh."

       "My  parents were pretty worried about you, by the way," I said wryly.

       He looked sheepish. "Well, you could tell them I really was sick, and I needed someone to tend to me for the whole night."

       "Seems like an appropriate excuse."

        We sat in the kitchen, facing each other, as he ate. Now that the misunderstandings, the anger and resentment and the hurt was gone, there was nothing to hold us back. I looked around his place, realizing that this was the first time in so many years that I was actually at his house, actually seeing it properly.

       "You never invited me over," I couldn't help saying, as I looked around at his place; neat kitchen with rounded cornices, seldom used. "You never once invited me to your house when we were friends."

       "I was scared that you would hate it. Besides, my uncle and aunt lived here. I couldn't bear to have you over, especially  with them under the same roof."

       "Why not?"

        "I don't know. I always had this thing about you and my family... I didn't want you to meet them, ever. I was afraid that... if you met them, you'd see me the same way they did."

       I couldn't help being surprised. Was that really what he used to think about me? "You trusted me so little," I whispered. "You thought so easily that I wouldn't be able to love you."

       "I was programmed to believe it ever since I was brought into this world."

        "So... when I did confess to you that evening, in my room... were you freaked out?" 

       "Freaked out?" he laughed humorlessly. "I was fucking scared. I was scared that if you got to know the real me, you'd no longer feel the same way about me."

        "And who's the real you?" I demanded.

         He stared at me with burning eyes. "What I am right now, in front of you, is the real me, Panda."

        "You don't seem all that bad to me," I muttered.

       He smiled, shaking his head, but didn't say anything much.

"What... what happened with your uncle and aunt? Is that why you went to Paris?"

"Yeah. I wanted to get away. I'd had enough of their interference and their... ordering me around. As soon as I was old enough to leave, I left."

"You never told anyone?" I whispered.

"No. Only you."

Only me. I gulped. The memory of that night came back to my mind— when he'd first told me about his abusive parents. "So... it just stopped? Just like that?"

"They still wanted to control me, of course. But I threatened to call the police if they tried to. That made them back off. They were proud people; didn't want anyone to know. As long as I was young, they knew I couldn't do anything. But things have changed now. I hardly even hear from them... and I'm glad."