ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ | ʙ.ᴇ.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ

then

The rain outside poured harder than I expected it to. We weren't going to be in the eye of the hurricane, only getting the short leftovers. But those short left overs was mighty damn powerful.

Billie and I sat on my couch looking outside the window with the liquor in our hands. We haven't spoken much. It's not like we had a lot to talk about. We were strangers with a shared pain. And it's a pain we didn't want to talk about. At least I didn't.

I looked over at her. I took in the way her eyes were distant from reality as she stared at the rain. She looked defeated. I could relate more than she knew. Before she could catch me staring I looked away and sipped some more of my thrid glass of wine tonight. It made me go into deep thought as well.

I never understood the ideal people have for cheating. If you aren't in love with that person anymore then you should leave. It'll hurt less at least. For me it would've hurt less. I still refused to let my tears fall for him. No matter how painful my heart ached.

I didn't know how hard I was gripping my glass until I heard it crack. The wine seeped through the cracks and onto my fingers. I sighed before making a move to clean my mess. Billie didn't budge when I got up from the couch. I knew she wasn't here mentally, and the shallow humanity side of me wanted to hug her in comfort.

When the wine was off of my hands and the glass was in the trash I sat back down on the couch, but closer to Billie this time. That made her flinch before looking at me. I boldy grasped her hand in mine, squeezing it. We still didn't speak but my actions was more than enough. I assumed.

She gave me a wavering smile, squeezing my hand. The tears were now in her eyes before she broke eye contact. She shuffled before taking a small black box out of her pocket. She then placed it onto my table before leaning back on the couch. I knew it was an engagement ring. I watched her silently before joining her. I rested my head on her shoulder, sighing.

Lighting struck, following by another sound of thunder. I never found storms that comforting, until now. The more my body relaxed the worse the ache in my chest got and the black hole grew. I felt the tears stream down my face unexpectedly. As much as I didn't want to cry, as much as I didn't want to care, my body chose to show those emotions for me.

Billie turned her head to look down at me. She let go of my hand before wrapping her arms around me in comfort. She hugged me securely, like I belonged in her arms. She nuzzle the side of her face into my hair. I broke down in her arms that night. She cried as well but not as hard. She rubbed my arms and planted a kissed on my head which shocked the both of us. Our eyes captured one another in the heat of the moment.

One thing led to another in our grievance. I didn't stop her lips from meeting mine, she didn't stop me from trying to take her clothes off. I knew we would regret what we did in the morning but as of right now I just wanted the hole in my chest to be filled.

And it was. For the next three hours.