ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ | ʙ.ᴇ.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ sᴇᴠᴇɴ

then

Six months had past since that day. Six months since I had got my heart broken and Six months the since I had spoken to Billie. Despite my feelings of forgetting her and moving on, I still wanted to see her. I had hopes for the past two months thinking we'd run into each other again. That was quickly diminished when she didn't pop up.

I had just guessed she moved far away from this town. That was smart of her if she did. I should probably follow in those foot steps.

During these passing months I've been working on myself. I picked up a habit of reading. I wanted to forget my reality and enter someone else's. Seeing the characters lives fall apart instead of my own.

I haven't seen Kaleb since the day he was outside of another women's apartment and I'm glad I haven't. The thought of him hasn't hurt me anymore, but I knew if I were to see him again physically it would crush me and send me back into stage one. But even after this time away from him I've learned that my feelings weren't as strong as I thought they were. I wouldn't identify them as love. I didn't know what they were.

I've tried dating again. But I've pushed almost everyone away. It's like I'm not allowing myself to be happy even though I very much want to. My body obviously didn't.

As of right now I'm sitting in a restaurant alone. I didn't mind eating alone. I liked my own company. I will admit it was a little embarrassing but I was young.

I flipped through a chapter of The falling in love montage while stuffing a fry into my mouth. Occasionally I would look up from my book at my surroundings. No one caught my eye until the fourth time I glanced around. The person I've been yearning to see. She was facing me, talking to another person across from her. She had a genuine smile on her face. She was glowing.

I didn't know my lips had lifted into a smile, I didn't want to notice my heart beating in my chest fater than usual. Or how my mind wondered to the night we had spent together, despite our intoxication. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I admired the length of her hair that obviously grew. It still had its sleek shine of midnight black. I visioned myself running my fingers through it.

Billie laughed at whatever the person in front of her had said. She rolled her eyes, focusing on the person again. I caught how her eyes caught mine for a split second on accident. Then she did a double take and held our gaze. I saw the way she tried to familiarize herself with me. Like she knew me from somewhere. And she did.

I didn't waver my stare, even after I got caught. I smiled shly before doing a short wave and going back to my book. There was no point of getting up from my seat and going to hers. We weren't friends. And what if she didn't want to remember me?

After about thirty seconds I glanced back up at her and caught her eyes once again. Then I avoided them. This game went on for half an hour. My food was long gone and everytime the server came to me I would just ask her to refill my drink. I paid for the consequences of my actions when I had the urge to use the bathroom. I placed my book mark in my book before sliding from my booth.

When I was finished and came out the stall there she was....waiting for me. I didn't want to make it seem like I was excited to see her so I just smiled and went over to wash my hands. "So it is you." She spoke first.

As I rubbed the foam soap through my fingers and looked at her. "Hello stranger."

"Never thought I'd see you again."

"Did you want to?"

I looked over her reaction as my hands rinsed under the water. I simply shrugged. "You've crossed my mind. I was worried, I wanted to know how you were doing." She handed me a paper towel.

"I've been doing alright. How about you?"

"Better, actually. Haven't thought about her until now." And this is why we weren't talking in the first place. Reminders of our past that we didn't want to remember. I could tell she noticed the change in our moods after she answered my question.

"So, do you come to restaurants often and eat alone?" That made me a little embarrassed. "Yes, I do." I shrugged.

"I like being to myself sometimes." Just then I had remembered someone was at her table waiting for her. I couldn't stop the way my stomach twisted with jealousy. "Don't you have someone waiting for you at the table?" We've been talking in here for two minutes too long.

"Nah, my sister in law can wait. I'd rather talk to you." I was relieved when those words left her mouth. Then again I don't want to to assume she's single. I laughed. "We can, but I would like to leave this bathroom."

Billie laughed and we made way back into the restaurant. Billie and Claudia (which I just found out her name) sat in my booth while eating. We explain how we met, sparing the details of us sleeping together. She looked disgusted by the mention of Billie's ex. "Good fucking riddance, she was a horrible women." Claudia waved her hand before eating another piece of avocado toast.

The rest of dinner went well until it was time to say our goodbyes. Claudia let Billie and I have our moment of privacy before we parted ways. We just stared at each other when she left. I knew the way we eneded this conversation was going to effect how our relationship was going to turn out.

"I would actually like to see you again." She states honestly which makes me smile and look away for a second. "I don't know if it's a good idea." My words didn't mirror my actual feelings. After tonight I didn't want to loose site of her. After the few months I searched for her I didn't want to let her go.

The women before me shook her head before pulling out her phone and having a hand out for mine. I gladly exchanged numbers with her. With the same silence hanging over us I stared at her natural beauty. She looked like she was glowing, like she was happy. I could feel myself mirroring her.

With one last goodbye she pulled me in, placing her lips over mine in a feather like kiss. "You can get a better one the next time we see each other." She kissed my cheek and pulled away with a cute smile. She walked away from me after that while I stood starstucked.

That simple kiss alone made me want more. And I will be getting it the next time I saw her. The number in my phone made sure of it.