I Almost Killed My Crush's Mom

Chapter 26:: Fight or Flight

Chapter 26// Fight or Flight

∞LOIS POV∞

Fight or Flight. The struggle between facing your problems, or running away from them.

I have always been more of a flight kind of girl. Confrontation scares me, and if it wasn't clear from the three days I spent becoming a bedroom recluse, it takes me time to work up the courage and inclination to face my issues and deal with them. The simplest fall out? I back out of by apologizing (even if I'm not necessarily the one who did anything wrong). If I get a bad grade on a test? I officially hate that lesson, and dread going back to it. Where exactly this flight instinct comes from, I'm not quite sure, seeing as I have a family of the most stubborn, hard-headed people living to this day. I'm the odd one out, and I like it that way. I do not like being forced to face my problems.

Of course, seemingly, nobody gave Everett and Ben this memo.

"I don't want to do this," I grunt, pushing against my brother's arms. We're stood just outside of the entrance to the beach café, and these two annoying idiots are trying to force me into the door. They seem to think that it's not awkward at all between Jesse and me, unless I stay away from him. They think that if I act normal, he will too, and everything can be okay again. It's not like I found out yesterday that he's dating Rita or anything. It's not like I'm offended that he'd try to kiss me and then go off with her as if nothing happened. I struggle under the pressure from Everett's hold, before finally managing to slip under his arm and dart away. "I don't want to go in there," I protest.

Everett looks at me wearily, before glancing at Ben. "What now?"

Ben frowns. "You're going to have to face him at some point Lois," He says softly, "The longer you put it off- the more awkward it'll become. Come on- you two have got to get this fixed. You're soulmates." Ben tries to encourage me with his pleading gaze, but I just cross my arms defiantly. I've told Ben all about what I found out yesterday, and why I'm hurt and angry, and yet he's still adamant that I didn't understand and that I need to speak to Jesse because something doesn't sound right about this. The irritating thing is that he hasn't told me what I haven't understood, so my inclination to speak to Jesse hasn't exactly been increasing. According to Everett though, he and Ben haven't heard from Jesse since the dance last night when he left early, so I doubt Ben even knows what he's talking about.

"He's dating Rita," I hiss, "We are not soulmates. Why would you want me to torture myself by watching them be together? Do you enjoy seeing me in pain?" I try to emphasise just how horrible it will be for me to go into that café and watch Jesse and Rita together, but Ben doesn't seem convinced.

"You found out after Rita told you that she and Jesse were going on a date, that it wasn't a date after all," Ben says softly. "Who's to say she isn't lying about this as well? Jesse didn't tell me they were dating again. You need to ask him. If he says yes, then fine, you move on with your life." Ben holds out an arm, gesturing for me to enter the beach café. "Everett and I are right behind you, Lo. Just show him how you aren't going to let this affect you." Ben stares at me pointedly.

I consider his words for a second. If I do go inside now, I can talk to Jesse as to whether he and Rita are together or not. Also, I can act as if I'm not affected either way: saving my embarrassment from yesterday when I blurted out that I needed alone time after I found out. If that wasn't a clear indicator that I like Jesse, I don't know what was. I have the chance to redeem myself now, pretend as though I don't like him after all, and that way I can maintain my friendships with both Rita and Jesse. I wouldn't need to be the piggy in the middle again. I glance towards the Beach Café entrance, and bite my lip. I can feel my resolve crumbling. "Okay," I nod finally.