I Almost Killed My Crush's Mom

Chapter 5:: The winds of pain

Chapter 5// The winds of pain

The park in Hamilton is where I spent most of my childhood years, with Everett. It’s just down the promenade, right next to the beach, and it’s one of Hamilton’s main family-friendly attractions. The park itself is very big, with your typical dog walking routes and playground, but also other things like a lake with boating and activities on it, and a nature trail. I’ve always had a soft spot for the park, so with the chilly sea breeze hitting my face as I push Jennifer’s wheelchair towards the path, I can’t help but feel a little less miserable and guilty about the whole situation. Things are going to get better now, I just know it.

“Hmm,” Jennifer sighs blissfully, closing her eyes. “It seems like ages since I’ve had some fresh air. That room has been so stuffy.” I smile at her obvious enjoyment, straining my arms to push her up the slight hill before we reach the playground. Jennifer’s wheelchair arrived this morning from the hospital, and I know it must have been expensive. She was so happy though that she wanted to take a trip to the park to celebrate. She still hasn’t mentioned the cost for her healthcare, and I’m hesitant to ask, so I’m just going along with it at the moment. She’ll confront me with it eventually, right? My arms buckle beneath me and I grit my teeth to push her over the final hill, shooting a glare at Jesse who is walking just ahead and not offering his help in the slightest.

Okay so I may have almost killed his mom, but that’s no reason for him to want me to actually die of exhaustion.

After what seems like hours of effort, the ground finally flattens out. It’s not even like the hill is particularly steep: it’s just that I’m pushing a woman in a wheelchair up it, and I have the upper arm strength of a crippled beetle. I could sense Jesse smirking at me a few times: he seems to enjoy my pain a bit too much to be healthy. I scowl and pull the sleeves of my hoodie down to cover my hands. It’s been raining overnight in Hamilton, meaning the park and beach are pretty much deserted. All of the tourists will have gone to see indoor attractions today. Dew highlights the grass in decorative beads, and the air is warm and humid around me as it always is in summer. Unfortunately, the sea breeze is not as kind. I’m freezing my butt off, to put it plainly.

 

“You know,” Jennifer smiles, “I think we could all grab some lunch after this. My treat. Thoughts?”

Jesse stops just ahead, his hands hidden deep into his leather jacket, and gives his mom a look.

“I can’t let you buy for me,” I shake my head, agreeing with Jesse. “I’ll buy lunch. It’s the least I can do.”

“Lois,” Jennifer sighs and turns around in her wheelchair to face me, putting her hand gently on the wheel to stop me from pushing. “I think you need to stop beating yourself up over this quite so much. We can’t reverse time, and it means a lot that you’re staying with me when I need you but that’s all I can ask for. As much as you don’t want to admit it, the accident was partly my fault.”

I begin to protest, but Jennifer shakes her head softly to interrupt me. “It feels wrong to take money from you. You seem to be unwilling of the fact that I stepped out as you reversed, that I may be able to take some of the guilt from your shoulders.”

I sigh and shuffle my feet awkwardly. I guess that is true: it wasn’t entirely my fault, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t feel guilty for even playing half of the role in it. She’s in a wheelchair, and it’s partly down to me. It’s not like I’m the one who’s injured, is it? “Thank you,” I reply softly. “I appreciate that, but that doesn’t mean that I should accept any money from you instead. I can buy my own lunch,” I nod determinedly to try and persuade her. “And I’ll pay all of your medical bills too, I promise.”