Jean's Journal

A Heart to Heart: Refusal

Armin Pieck, and Jean were standing in the warm spring air as the stars began to make their appearances.

The cargo ship they were aboard was making its way towards Paradis. Armin had paid the Captain a nice sum of money to keep them hidden when they arrived at the port of the island. They would depart from the ship at nightfall.

While all of Paradis wasn't completely hostile towards the former members of the alliance, Armin was seen as the disgraced Commander of the Survey Corps as he was seen as the one who killed their champion, Jean was seen as an accomplice and a traitor to the Eldian empire, and the animosity towards Pieck was obvious.  They didn't want to take any chances, after Connie's assassination, it just wasn't smart to travel in the day.

They were lucky that Mikasa resided in the country side of the rebuilt Shiganshina district. They could talk away from prying eyes and wandering ears.

Pieck let out a heavy sigh. "Are you sure I'm the best person to try and talk to Mikasa?"

"You're the only one who can really understand what she went through" Jean said taking a draw of his pipe.

"Except I didn't kill Porco, Eren basically did" Pieck said.

"Yeah but in the end Porco also made the sacrifice to save Falco, and Eren in his own twisted way made sacrifices for our lives" Armin said.

"Is your life really better because of Eren's actions?" Pieck questioned.

Neither Jean or Armin answered.

"Now that she has lost the power of the Ackerman clan, she's not as strong as she use to be, someone's going to figure that out and take advantage of that." Armin said.

"And rumors are swirling around on Paradis that it was Mikasa who killed Eren, not Armin" Jean said.

Pieck just stared out at the dark waves of the ocean.

"Porco I wish you were here" she thought.

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Armin arranged their departure from the island with the Captain. They had 3 days.

They mounted the horses that had been brought to them by Hitch, and in exchange, she was going to finally flee Paradis.

"Just be careful" she said, as she grabbed her suitcases, taking one last look at the island, and boarded the ship.

Armin understood her pain. Despite how hostile things were become on Paradis, it was still their home, where they grew up. He knew Hitch was leaving Marlow behind, her high ranking position in the military, and her friends and family.

The trio began their trek to Shiganshina.

******************************

Mikasa had been sitting by the giant tree next to Eren's headstone. She had been writing in her journal, and casually taking to Eren.

She saw the sun beginning to sink below the horizon.

"Armin is on his way, he's bring Pieck and Jean with him."

She closed the leather bound journal. "I know why they are coming, trying to convince me to leave this place, after Connie's death the hostility keeps growing. But they don't frighten me. I'm not leaving my home I fought so hard for to get back, and I'm not leaving your Eren"

Mikasa wrapped the red scarf a bit tighter around her neck, she stood up. Stretched her legs, and headed inside her small home to put the kettle on.

***************************

The 3 rode up the gentle slop that led to Mikasa small home.

They tied their horses up to the hitching post.

Armin stopped that the small headstone under the tree.

"You coming Armin?" Pieck asked.

"In just a moment"

Jean and Pieck went inside, Armin could hear the muffled voices of greetings.

"Hey Eren, it's been a while" Armin said quietly.

*************************

Mikasa stared out the window as she got tea cups from the cabinet. She watched Armin closely, talking to his best friend. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

She turned away from the window, pouring the hot tea into cups on the table where Jean and Pieck sat.

Pieck looked uncomfortable. So she broke the silence. "Those paintings are lovely, did you do those yourself Mikasa"

"Oh...um yeah" she said softly. "I have a lot of time on my hands and painting is a great way to....cope"

Pieck understood. She had thrown herself in to taking care of her father, and writing about her times in the war and short stories. She also spent a lot of time with the Galliard family. They were still struggling with the loss of both of their sons.

"Whose this a painting of?" She asked, looking at the oil painting portrait of a young woman with soft brown hair and brown eyes.

"Her name was Sasha Blaus, a dear friend of ours" Armin answered as he walked in the door, looking at the painting.

"Gabi shot and killed her over 3 years ago" Mikasa said flatly.

Jean shot her a look.

Pieck remind silent. "So this is who Gabi has nightmares about" she thought to herself.

Armin looked at the paintings, her parents, Eren, Shiganshina before the fall of Wall Maria, the sea, and one that looked unfinished.

"What's this going to be?" Armin asked, looking at the easel.

"Eren and I in a cabin in the woods, we lived there for 4 years in PATHS, if we had run away from it all" she said quietly.

Pieck noticed that this Mikasa wasn't the same powerful and commanding solider she had seen in the war. It relaxed her a bit, seeing her so...vulnerable.

They all sat down.

"So Mikasa we came here for-"

She held up her hand. "I know why you are here, you want me to leave Paradis, but that's just not going to happen"

To be continued...