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Dear Diary,
Natalie has been acting strange, it's like she's hiding another side to her. She constantly has so much inside that I haven't since i was a tiny innocent baby, my dad says to ignore it. I just can't anymore.
I was born in abnegation, i cant choose abnegation even though it kills me to leave my blood behind. I have never hung in, my brother caleb always has though, he helps other more than himself hes so naive yet he would give the clothes of his back to help the devil.
The choosing is in a week, my anxiety and feeling are peeking with fear. I don't want to leave my family.
However, the only thing worse than leaving is to stay where I can't belong,
Some say I'm over the moon lucky to be trapped in these walls like a jarred experiment but our founders say that we got split into factions, Euradite, Candor, Amity, Dauntless and Abnegation.
It's like Sophies choice, I can't decide, I never thought to how my life would be decided when growing up but I never guessed I'd be made to cut my hand and recklessly pour my blood in bowls of chance.
Euradite is impossible to pass the exams and tests. I wouldn't fit in, besides if I leave my family I can't see them. I might as well fly to the moon and create a new civilisation in 10 minutes because its just as likely as me being normal and not being considered a freak, a misfit as someone who doesn't belong and someone who can't do anything right and hasn't been excepted by anyone who hasn't got a choice to accept me. It is ram filled with Einsteins waiting to discover new life and cures. Whereas, I can't even feel logic to fix my life yet make a vaccine or a new computer or brain technology.
I don't belong into Candor, I come from a family of deep rooted lies that grow like a poisonous rose waiting to hurt someone, my lies and secrets wouldn't even get me in a list to be accepted yet near the bowl of possibility, I'd have to admit to my black secrets one that most people haven't dreamt off or even seen.
Amity is impossible to, there always happy, always have the grin on their faces, and minds of the purest white. Why can't I be normal, I stand out, I try everything like cutting my hair, wearing makeup and hiding. They farm the land and I can't make a bowl of mashed potatoes. I'm useless yet I can't stop it.
Dauntless there free, careless, dangerous recklessly protecting the walls, watching silently and still till movement, life occurs outside those walls. They keep the order, the peace. I can't be Dauntless. I overthink and doubt my decisions how could I choose.
Ever since I was 10 I admired them, they helped more than I could, they are so strong and confident, its not like they need support and guidance like me. I just wouldn't be able to deal with the responsibility of it all.
How do I choose?
I have 7 days of the clock till I become factionless.
It's all a matter of time until I'm sleeping on the side of buildings and eating scraps of the superior factions, waiting for their waste and spares. Begging and hoping for change, but the tiny shine of light will close on me leaving me in the dark and alone.
I'll write again in 6 days time.... wish me luck....
Now to hide this somewhere.
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YOU ARE READING
The life of Prior
RomanceWe're lucky to be in The City. They say the war was terrible. That the rest of the world was destroyed. The founders built the wall to keep us safe and they divided us into five groups, factions, to keep the peace. My life part by part.
