Hide It {Zoella}

Panic And Pain

I tried to stay calm and remember everything that I'd read and my midwife had told me. That pop was my waters breaking but it's almost impossible... your waters normally break when you're ending your first stage of labour.

Right?

Then I thought back to the beginning of the day, whimpering in agony as another tight pain ran through me. It feels like somebody is stretching my fucking uterus and then letting pop back into place but then doing it again in 5/10 minutes. Heck, that's exactly what is happening.

The contractions, I'd been getting them all day, maybe they weren't fake. That better be the case because I'm really stressing now. The contractions were getting stronger as my uterus expanded again. They were becoming about 5 minutes apart and lasting forever.

This is the point I'm meant to be ringing the hospital but I can't. I'm in labour, naked, alone in my house and I can't even call for help because I can't reach my phone. I screamed in utter panic and pain. How the hell am I meant to do this.

I'm praying that Alfie gets back in the next 10 seconds because I really can not move. I need him, he's the only way I'm going to stay calm. I lay back and kept screaming, hoping some miracle would happen and this would all be a nightmare.

My stomach and back ached and I wanted out. I want out of this situation, it's to freakin stressful.

"Alfie," I whimpered, there's nothing else I can do but cry. I'm done, I just need to cry.

What seems like hours of utter pain and torture passed until I finally heard the door open.

"Zoe?" Alfie shouted.

I screeched in agony to get him to come to me and then looked at the door. It was locked, way to go fucking go Zoe.

"Help me, please!" I shouted, weakly.

"I'm coming baby, don't worry," Alfie shouted back, starting to kick the door down. I kept crying and shouting, the pains were getting stronger. I need help, I need drugs.

I closed my eyes and jumped as the door came crashing down. Alfie grabbed my dressing gown off the back of the door and ran away again. Thanks for the help, mate.

Everything seemed to move slowly but then suddenly really quick. I wailed as Alfie picked me up like a baby and carried me to our bedroom. He placed me down on top of my dressing gown and wrapped me in it.

"You should've called me you silly billy," Alfie smiled, picking me up. There was a taxi honk and Alfie gently carried me down the stairs, towards the taxi. Alfie lay me down on the back seats because that was the only way I felt comfortable. He ran back to the house and grabbed my hospital bag and our phones.

I screeched again, the taxi driver shuffled awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Alfie lifted my head gently and slid in the seat under it, resting my head on his lap. I closed my eyes and tried to drown out what was happening, like I'd been told to.

I thought of a beautiful summer garden, the soft breeze blowing through my air as I sat with a picnic with Alfie, Nala and my two children. Alfie was running round after our little boy, playing football and our little girl was sitting with me making daisy chains. That was the daydream I was hanging onto, that was what would get me through.

I tuned out everything until I felt myself being carried through to a room and layed on a bed.

Something about 'straight to the delivery' was shouted and I was wheeled off into the room, Alfie clinging onto my hand.

"I love you so much, you can do this," Alfie whispered as everything moved in a flash.

"I love you too," I mouthed because that was all I could manage, I'd lost most of my energy already...

This was it, the next time I leave here, I'll have two babies...