Soul-bound

2. Tender fingers

We had met at the Nakano river ever since we were children. It was where we had first come across each other, all those years ago, which made the place so much more special.

At least for me. At least now, when I was twenty. I had no idea what value the place held for Hashirama. I didn't dare to ask.

When I grew older, I would realise that in many ways, I was still a child at twenty. I didn't understand that then, however, believing being forced to grow up quickly during times of war made you mature as well as grown up. But mature and grown up weren't the same thing. At twenty, I would look back at the innocence of childhood and long for it, the same way I would later look back on my twenties and long for that.

I approached the cliffside at our river, covered in greens so bright they could have been dyed sugar crystals. My heart was hammering in my chest; I was nervous. Was he already there? Or would I have to wait for him?

He was already there.

He didn't turn around as I came to stand behind him. He sensed it was me, his best friend. He looked out over the river at the sunset, radiating that calm I adored so much about him. I felt a fizzling sensation in my fingertips and in my hips. I took a couple of deep breaths, but the oxygen in those breaths only seemed to egg the fizzling on. So I held my breath for a little while instead, tried to get used to lol these new emotions that were pouring inside of me like a heavy rain.

I like him. I like Hashirama Senju. And I like him more than a friend.

I was twenty. And I was in love for the first time. 

"Hi", he said, his voice deeper and warmer than mine.

I took a step forwards, leaning my chin against his shoulder from behind.

"Hi", I said.

If he was surprised by my rare display of physical affection, he didn't let it show. I tried to silence the turmoil inside me so that he wouldn't notice.

"What are you nervous about?" he asked, a smile in his voice.

Damn it...

"Nothing", I said like an idiot.

"Want to sit down with me?" he asked, unbothered.

"Yes."

We sat down. My ears were ringing. If I just turned my head slightly to the left, I would be able to see his face.

I didn't dare to.

"What's up with you?" he asked and lifted a strand of my hair, at that point reaching my collarbones.

I jerked at his touch.

"Nothing", I said.

"I..." He sighed then, leaned forwards and hugged his knees. I swallowed as I saw him grab his right wrist with his left hand, his veins and tendons playing beneath his skin. "I'm getting tired of it", he said.

I felt my heart surge.

"Of what?" I asked, incredibly worried. Was he tired of me?

"Of our clans. Fighting all the time."

Oh, I thought.

"Oh", I said.

He turned to look at me. I looked straight ahead.

"Aren't you growing tired of it?" he asked.

I thought for a bit. Usually, I spoke strongly for the battles between us. I was a fierce believer in justice, and justice according to me was to transfer all of Senju's power, political and otherwise, to the Uchiha since we were just so much more superior. And we were usually stronger in battle and more hot-tempered with words, meaning there was a benefit to battles as compared to meetings for the Uchiha.

But now, it just didn't seem all that important anymore.

I opened my mouth to say something, but only a whisper escaped my lips.

I saw out of the corner of my eye that Hashirama smiled at me.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I just want you to be safe", I murmured.

Please... Please understand what I'm trying to say.

"God, you're so sentimental today!" he burst out.

And you're awfully blind.

But that didn't bother me that much now. I found it quite endearing.

We talked a bit about politics, and even if the conversation didn't at all become as heated as our conversations usually became, the normality of it worked to calm me down.

But that calm disappeared when Hashirama suddenly moved, laid down...

And put his head in my lap.

I gaped. I was in pure shock. Hashirama, however, seemed completely unbothered, laying with his face away from me so he could watch the view with me.

I, however, was looking at a completely different view; of long, soft chestnut hair billowing over my legs, of the white fabric of his robe contrasting the black of mine, of the enemy symbol on my best friend's back.

Never had we ever had that type or physical contact. Never had we ever been so intimate. All sorts of things lit up within me, then; all sorts of dreams and fantasies and hopes and wishes. He had just laid down in my lap as if it was the most rational thing in the world.

I just want you to be safe...

And slowly, very slowly, I let my guard down. I lifted my hands and, terrified of rejection, started combing through his hair with them.

He didn't move away from my tender fingers.

We watched the sun set together, my best friend and me.

My heart was pounding the entire time.