40 Days

November 19, 1997

November 19, 1997

I spent Wednesday in a daze. Harry fed me and gave me my favorite book, but for once I couldn't even lose myself in it. I stared at the pages blankly, unmoving.

It was as if some immutable universal truth had shifted and now I was coping with an unimaginable reality. I wasn't physically wounded but my soul was writhing inside me as I watched the locket take over my best friend. My Harry that had been abused his entire life. And I hadn't known. The me of last year would have shaken her head at me and listed all the reasons I was mental if I told her what was happening.

Harry was...

My mind shied away from labeling it. The minutes passed like a countdown. Tick tock. Tick tock. We didn't even discuss anything, as if Harry sensed I had completely lost the plot today.

I waited tensely for him to decide it was time to go to bed as the sky darkened, watching him closely as he moved about the tent. Finally he approached me and I can't say I thought it through, that I planned anything. The locket was just there as he bent to get me from the chair. Dangling temptingly in my vision. The gleaming green of the s shaped snake on the locket seemed to hiss taunts at me.

He's mine now.

Fuck you. Fuck you! I lunged at him, whispering it as I scrambled to yank the locket off his neck.

Harry caught me in his arms. I didn't even touch it. The locket had been right in front of me and I couldn't even touch it. He held me close, rocking me. I realized I was crying and still muttering fuck you over and over under my breath.

"Shhh. Shhh. Everything's going to be okay, Hermione. I promise."

That's all I seemed to do since Ron left. Cry. Try not to cry. Try to make myself stop crying. His hand came up, almost palming the back of my head, his forearm along my neck.

The world shifted, and we were laying in his bed again. I shuddered when the lights went out.

Another day gone.

He cuddled me close, his thigh shifting between mine, and his hand moved my face upward as he leaned over. His lips brushed against my wet cheeks. "I've got you, Hermione. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

"Please Harry, give me the locket. Give it to me."

"What would you do for it?"

It was like the entire world went quiet, even God listening for my answer. Could I really say it?

What would I do to get the locket away from him?

Anything.