40 Days

December 2, 1997

Harry's hand was fisted in my tangled hair as he held my head angled to the side, baring my neck to his mouth while his other arm wrapped around my waist, holding me as he jerked his hips upward.

The feel of his teeth on my neck while he held me so tightly, burying himself inside me over and over, made me feel like I was being devoured by him. We hadn't spoken since he came back in the tent yesterday after killing Crabbe. He took off his clothes and the locket before rolling me over and spreading my thighs.

I cried when I came, and he held me, rocking me slowly until I stopped. And then Harry fucked me again, and hadn't stopped. Desperation swirled between the two of us, and my fingers clutched at him tightly as if we were slipping away from each other.

I let out a higher-pitched cry as he bit my shoulder hard, his hand around my waist drifting higher, splaying against my back as if he could push me even closer to him, our skin flush against each other. His skin was hot, feverish, and the prickles of his chest hair dragged against my breasts as I bounced on his lap.

Harry licked me where he had just bitten, the wet drag of his tongue making me tense. He leaned backward slightly, adjusting our angle, and the next rough push dragged along my clit, hitting that spot inside me that made me see stars.

He made a pleased humming sound, as if he enjoyed my pleasure, and did it again. My nipples tightened. The rasp of his chest hair was almost too much for how sensitive they felt. My pussy tightened on him as my orgasm rolled through me, trying to keep him inside me.

But he flipped me when that started, laying me back and pushing my knees up. He pulled almost all the way out and shoved back in, stretching me on his cock as I came whimpering, trying to clutch him close.

Harry ignored the pull of my hands, holding himself back from me as he fucked me through my orgasm. I expected him to stop then, but he didn't, the rough drag of his cock out of me, then all the way inside was too much for my over sensitized body. I tried to reach for him, to pull him close and make him stop, but he was out of reach, his body moving unceasingly, rhythmically over mine.

It took me several tries to actually speak, my muscles not cooperating. "H-Harry pl-please."

His pale eyes glittered at me. "Please what?"

"Stop."

He paused as he thrust inside me, leaning down, his hands flat on either side of my head. I swallowed hard. He's going to break me.

"Is that why you're so wet? Because you want me to stop?" His lips brushed mine as he spoke, his words soft. "Is that why you're squeezing me like you want to keep me inside you?"

"I-I can't help it."

The corners of his lips tilted upwards at that. "I can't help it either." He pressed his lips to mine, soft and loving. "Come for me again, Hermione."

I screamed when I came, begging him as the intensity of the feelings roared through me. I couldn't breathe as it felt like my whole body contracted, spasming, and my world went dark.

I don't know how much time passed before I woke to the entire tent cleaned out. Harry had packed up everything and dressed me. My shoes were next to the bed and I slipped them on, walking out of the tent, a warming charm hitting me as soon as I was out. The tent collapsed with a wave of his wand, and shrinking and zipping into my charmed bag, which he then handed me.

Harry held out his hand for me to grasp, and I paused, looking around the mountainside. His hand didn't waver as I dawdled. There wasn't another path for me other than with him. I took his hand.

He apparated us several times, and I barely paid attention, although I laughed when finally stopped in a flat marsh. So this is what hell looks like, how mundane. Solid ground was sparse, but he charmed water repellent on the tent as he set it up and I took care of the wards.

When we finally finished setting up, we sat together silently in the tent and I stared at him. The locket glinted from his chest, the pale green gems that made the 's' almost matching Harry's eyes.

The air was so quiet and still here on the marsh, not howling like it had been on the mountainside. Harry was motionless as he watched me watch him, as if he was a statue. Random memories popped into my mind. The love I felt for him stretched back years, but it was tainted now.

I struggled with the feeling inside me as I stared at him, trying to make a place for it in me alongside my love for him. It was so sharp and painful, grating inside me as if it wanted to burst forth and savage him.

I hated—

I clenched my fist around my wand and swallowed it down. His eyes flickered to my clenched hand, but he made no move, simply watching me, no emotion behind those pale green eyes.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

My entire focus had been narrowly on saving Harry. On refusing to admit facts in regards to him, struggling uselessly to save him against the powerful draw of the locket.

It was a losing proposition and if I kept at it eventually we would both die, regardless of Harry's murderous inclinations.

As hard as it would be, I had to let this go. I had to stop focusing on Harry turning into a monster right next to me. The locket had him, and the only fucking thing I could do to stop that was to destroy it. Getting it off him did absolutely nothing. Maybe distance would help, but I had no way of testing that out either.

I needed that fucking sword. In order to get that sword, I needed more information. I needed more information on Horcruxes and other possible methods of destruction.

"When you came into the tent yesterday, you said Crabbe was too stupid to fall into your trap. How did you draw him in?"

Harry gave me a slow smile.