Distilled, yet not aware.

[12] BAAABABABABA

Kyle broflovskis pov ( I cant spell rn lmao)

"Wendy?" Stan replied in a panic.

I felt a pang of.. A strange feeling. It felt wrong, dirty, almost like jealously? Yeah that was it. It wasn't fair to be jealous of Wendy. She was a kind person.. I didn't know that Stan still cared so much about wendy- wait no. I still care about her too..

Feeling confused about my own, irrational emotions, and worry for Wendy. Butters began to explain.

"Well, Wendy said she came into contact with someone named "cupid," I don't know the context, but with what Wendy said their awfully strange.."

My eyebrows furrowed, was Wendy being harmed?

"She said the persons trying to make her, do things?"

"Do what?!" Stan grabbed Butters shoulder with abrupt force.

I turned towards him also and leaned in closer. If wendy was in danger why the fuck would he leave her alone?!

"Woah fellas, you got the wrong idea, nothing too nasty like.. that," Butters stutters, surprised Stan acted so violently.

"Alright before any of you cut me off," He looked at Stan,"Wends said that the person keeps asking for information on couples and quote on quote said "Batch I know your a girl, you know tea, spill batch."

I looked at him funny, and this was enough to break into my house? Butters again started speaking, not giving enough time to think further,

"I think their trying to get couples together because they sent a few other texts past that," Butters sighed, "A lot of people were on the list of couples they wanted together.

I blushed and looked over at Stan, I wonder if we were on that list.. no, shut up.

"Were we on-" Stan started to speak but butters grabbed us both and dragged us through the window.

Stan looked a bit queasy as he smiled at me. I cant believe Stan thought the same thing as me. That's hilarious.

When we eventually ended up on the walk way to her house, Stan stated "I haven't been here in so long.." distantly, like he was careful not to disturb a fragile memory.

I felt the same emotion as before, but I could understand why now. Wasn't he over her? I'm not jealous,  just looking after my friend is all..!

I knew that wasn't the truth. I didn't care much.

I frowned, and knocked on the door rhythmically.

I heard shuffling upstairs and Wendy peered through a crack in the door. She opened it wide and pulled us in. I didn't like her hands touching my raw skin. Imaging all the flakes.. Oh god shut up... shut up.. my brain kept having horrific thoughts of things that could of happened due to her touching me. Imagery that made my skin crawl. I felt filthy. 

I seethed through my teeth and when she let go I held my arms.

"Are you alright dude?" Stan asked cautiously.

"Yeah," I smiled through tight lips that did not match my eyes.

"Oh.. Alright dude."

I don't think Stan bought it, fuck.

Why am I so confused, why do I feel filthy for existing? I am useless, I don't get good grades, I mean I do, but not good enough for what my existence is supposed to mean. I don't value myself, yet I value human life to an alarming extent..