Distilled, yet not aware.

[11]four big guys!

TW: MENTIONS OF VOMITING

"Well anyways!" Stan looked at me and got close to my face.

I blushed and took a step back, "Um."

He started nodding and started playing with one of the things in my room.

"Anything else I can help with?"

He wants to help me? I looked at him in awe, he's kind, pretty, AND wants to help me?! He's the best.. friend in the world.

Something about that sentence felt off, but then I said, "I mean, not at the moment, but do you want to find some stuff to do?"

He looked at me with a wonky expression on his face, he looked embarrassed, did I do that? Now I feel bad. Did I make him feel awkward? I overthink too much..

He responded quickly with "Sure dude, of course!"

I grabbed his hand and started to walk fast to find some random thing to do, "Er.. We could mess with the Ck sounds.."

"The what?"

"The ck sounds, Cartman? Kenny?"

"Ohhh, sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

He paused and looked at me for a moment and shrugged. oh shit! We're supposed to be studying!

"Hey Stan?"

"Hm?"

"We better start studying."

We silently walked back to my room, how did I loose track of time so quickly? I mean I am tired, but i'm supposed to be the better person. When I got beat up in school I would get in trouble for not being the bigger person, so i'm just owning up to it now...

We sat Indian style on the floor, was that even PC? I don't know, that's what it was originally called and I can't think of another name.. Umm, obama the throat goat? NO SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN!

I slapped myself in the head, because honestly my thoughts were running wild. I didn't think anything of harming myself until I felt a set of hands cupping my face.

"Are you alright?! Why would you do that?" Stan yelped while looking at my head.

"I dunno, I just.. Did it I guess," I shrugged.

He had a flash of.. guilt? on his face, maybe he felt hypocritical?

I set a deck of flash cards on the ground. We played with them for a while before we eventually got tired... And I mean REALLY sleepy. I couldn't keep my eyes open and it took physical effort to function. I crawled over to stan and rested my head on him.

"You mind if you become a bed?"

"I uhh.." He looked away? for a second and put his arms around me, "sure dude.."

We just laid there for a minute, I didn't fall asleep as quickly as I thought though. I felt someone, oh yeah, Stan, stroke my head and say "I love you."

I blushed, and fought the urge to smile, that was really sweet. He really cares about a failure like me that much? wait why did I think so negatively of myself?

I continued down the rabbit hole of my thoughts until I drifted off into a warm slumber. I went "honk shoe," and "mimimimimimimi shoooo mimimimimimi" the sleep was so good. Fuck sex, sex sucks, this was MUCH better. At least 3 hours of sleep before I woke up at 4 AM..

"BANG"

I shot up and knocked into Stans hunched over head, "W-what?"

I looked at him frantically, discovering he didn't make the noise.

"What the fuck was that dude!" I whisper-yelled.

"I don't know."

He stood up and grabbed me, he pulled me behind him as he grabbed an iron baseball bat from my desk.

"W-what on earth are you doing?"

He looked at me with a harsh, but loving look on his face while he said "I'm not going to let anything touch you."

Wow, he's.. REALLY protective.. I mean he did bite me once over a pencil because I "almost killed it" but honestly he's willing to kill over me?

He walked while still wrapping an arm around me. We walked closer to the point of the sound when we saw a shadowy figure.

Oh shit. Oh fuck.

I tensed up, petrified. What is that. Is it going to kill Stan and I? What about Ike? Mom? Dad?

Stan froze too but quickly regained position.

"If I say run, run."

I hugged him closer in conformation, I was scared. It was more physical than mental, I could feel the anxiety and paranoia outside my head.

"Hey fellas!"

My eyes widened as I let out a faint sigh, was I really going to die?

I didn't take time to process the voice until I realized it was.. Butters? In tin foul costume?

"Butters what the fuck are you doing," Stan spoke in a low tone. I realized he was hyperventilating, I didn't think about how scared he must have been, especially at the front lines.

"Oh sorry, did I interrupt something?" Butters spoke in a scared voice, he rubbed his knuckles together.

"I- no.." I realized how close we were, but I didn't let go immediately. When I finally decided it was too close I put myself at an even more awkward situation where our noses almost touched.

Stans breath hitched and he froze for a second before pushing away.

"Hold on I have to go to the bathroom.." Stan said in a quivering voice.

I then heard the sound of vomiting, I looked at butters concerned and he cocked an eyebrow.

What? Why was he doing that, first he scares Stan and I half to death, and then he won't even communicate? With how innocent he acts he can go to hell. Wait no that was mean, but kinda true. Or was it?

An anger filled within me, I want it to stop. I don't want to loose control again.

Stan walked out of the bathroom with a red face, and messy hair.

We stood next to each other and waited until Butters would give us an explanation.

"It's Wendy fellas, she needs your help."

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1100 WORDS

YAYAYA I AM LORDE!

Also I'm so sorry about the wait, it's been a stressful week and my dad had to get a cancer screening to say the least so I just forgot 😅

I am finally building a plot for this thing because I don't know how to translate romantic attraction in my brain so yeye! FINALLY IT WILL MAKE SENSE!! Also I'm excited about Wendy and Professor Chaos, they're gonna be really fun to write! :DD

You all have a good week! I will take suggestions too btw :)

Yayaya I amLorde